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 Post subject: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:39 am 
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These are the guidlines from the official manual. You are required to adhere to these rules and regulations while playing Ultima Online.

I. If you loot a magic item from another player before they have had the chance to identify it, you must claim that it is a 25 vanq, and immediately create an auction for it that you never intend on following through with. If questioned, sell it to a "private bidder".

II. When you are forced to recall from a conflict, you must let it be known that you are low on regs, potions, bandages, or your child/wife/pet is distracting you. Then promptly attack their skill as a player, on the grounds that they "could not catch you". It may be efficient to integrate these phrases into your recall macro.

III. In the situation identified by article II. Your character is always "a bard without resist or wrestle", regardless of the actual template.

IV. Everyone is a pointless nancy-roleplayer who has no life, job, or significant-other, outside of the game.

V. You are the only exception to article IV.

VI. When a high value item is stolen or looted, you should not care. You have 100 more anyway and appreciate the fact that some no-name random is now putting your giant cache of said item to good use.

VII. Your bid in any auction, is always, "more than reasonable". If you are not the winner of any auction, it is because you just got one last week for X gp. Where (X=(WinningPrice/5)).

VIII. You attended the screen while macroing all 500,000 of your ingots across 3 accounts of miners locked at 75. You just feel that other players are not important enough to respond to.

IX. How long it takes a player to return on their alternate character(s) after death, is directly improportional to the amount of clients they currently have ghosting Lich Lords.

X. Your latency is significantly higher than anyone else's. This puts you at a constant disadvantage. Immediately after dying to this disadvantage, you shall ask if anyone else is lagging in IRC.

XI. When photographic proof is requested, any screenshot from several months ago will suffice.

XII. Your house on daggar island is worth more than deed price. You just sold a house in the exact same location for 2 mil yesterday.

XIII. The only reason a player loses during ctf, is because "they were running flag-macros and resetting". The auto-balancer gave you a team of randoms anyway.

XIV. Thieves, Tamers, and Dexers, are not viable templates. Any use is considered exploitative of what the developers originally intended.

XV. When losing a duel, it is always because the other player was a "gay macer", you "could not get your hally with all the attack-last spam", or "several bad dice rolls".

XVI. If your security fails, and your place of residence is looted, you must change the house sign to "Storage Shack" followed by an immediate posting that details just how many homes you own. Bonus points are awarded for stating that the looted valuables were retrieved from the (many) corpses of the looter's guild. Document this with photographic evidence from several months ago.

XVII. Your account age is greater than, or equal to, that of any other player. This has always been the case, even back when you used to play during beta.

XVIII. U R NEW, GLD PLZ.

XIX. If someone claims your prices are too high at auction, and you fail to sell the item. You must claim that you sold it for the initially stated price and then re-post a month later hoping someone uses your initial auction as a price-guide.

XX. You were, are, know, or knew someone who was/is a Gamemaster on an OSI server and it never worked that way according to your expertise.

XXI. If someone "capet" bombs you or otherwise commits an act of griefery, you must complain on the forums and then play it off and thank the griefer on the grounds that "[your] house visits have literally doubled" or "you found a grandfathered blessed 100000 gold check in the capet bomb mess".

XXII. Let P be the set containing the pings of each player in the game. Then, for each p in P, p < P - p . You must exclaim this mathematical principle when you defeat someone: "U got pwn lolz, n I ping 850, son"

XXIII. You and most of your guild are still VERY active and give a lot back to the community. It was completely unfair for the GM's to remove your town addons.

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Last edited by MatronDeWinter on Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:34 pm, edited 9 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:14 am 
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Well done. Except that you stole this from me. I wrote this same thing back in beta...I'd show you but my wife accidently deleted the web page.


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:27 pm 
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roflmao@ur l337n3$$


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:50 pm 
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You see this cannot be correct as I originally developed Ultima Online. Richard Garriott merely copied the coding and passed it off as his own. I would provide proof of this, however, all my material was confiscated by the government as they needed it to prove that Ultima Online does indeed brainwash children into becoming slaves to my interstellar overlord, Tyranion X12.


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:06 pm 
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This needs to be stickied.

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:14 pm 
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Vishakt wrote:
Well done. Except that you stole this from me. I wrote this same thing back in beta...I'd show you but my wife accidently deleted the web page.


LOL

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:29 pm 
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+1 if we had forum rep


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 19, 2009 4:48 pm 
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XVIII. When someone does something that you don't agree with, point out how much of a loser they are for doing that in a TEN YEAR OLD GAME.

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:12 pm 
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Some classic TB right here:
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 1° i play from laptop home, no macro and shitty comp
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 2° my partner was off garlic

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 7:44 pm 
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lol

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:02 pm 
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hiicha wrote:
Some classic TB right here:
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 1° i play from laptop home, no macro and shitty comp
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 2° my partner was off garlic


lmao i was there for this..

followed by the

"brb wife aggro" comment

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:42 am 
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alatar wrote:
hiicha wrote:
Some classic TB right here:
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 1° i play from laptop home, no macro and shitty comp
[13:51] <Bigoud-Home> 2° my partner was off garlic


lmao i was there for this..

followed by the

"brb wife aggro" comment


You would not believe the aggro radius my wife has...

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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:31 pm 
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hahahahahaha


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:33 am 
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Hahaha! Quite funny.


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 Post subject: Re: The Official Rulebook of Ultima Online.
PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:47 pm 
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Updated the list with a few new applicable rules.

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