chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Deacon Edition

[chumbucket]

I've recently been enamored with my role as Santa chum, leaving special gifts to those who have been good. But just like Santa, I am deprived of the joy of seeing others open what I leave. So back to old habits.

I grab a disguise kit. Time for the ol' go-gray-in-town move. It is a tried and true method of doing bad things to foolish people first pioneered by our thieving forefathers long ago in the late 90's. The first rule of disguise kits is to keep using them over and over until you find a name that doesn't sound like an NPC's name. John No. Faramir. Well, that could be some sort of role player or Lord of the Rings nerd name. But no. Marcus No. Deacon No...wait a second.

Deacon, of course, is the current leader of the bounty board (soon to be deposed by tinker chum). He is a known PvPer. Now, PvP appears to me like the Beatles would have appeared to Mozart. Yes, it has its charm, but one can't help but look down on it. It has some character, but is too limited. You can't fully express yourself through that sort of thing.

The possibilities are too much. I can't resist. I run to the tailor, buy the outfit I usually see Deacon wear and I'm off to the races. My first encounter does not disappoint. [TG] is assembled at the Skara Brae bank. I approach.

Deacon:What's up, newbies?

TG DeWd: Gonna kill ur ass lets meet up

I ask where, but don't intend to go. I just need to keep them comfortable while I look for what I want. And I find it quick--an eminently accurate broadsword of vanquishing. Score. I take. I run. But they fail to notice. They file out through a moongate. This is going to be great.

Next, I fall back to my original plan. I go to West Britain Bank gray. And it takes no time at all for me to be attacked. Petey is ready to go! He hits hard and I have to make some runs occasionally. But in the end, my quarterstaff is victorious. Petey is almost dead, immobilized by an endless barrage of staff blows to the face, but my good friend Hemperor shows. And, of course, he can't mind his own damn business.

Hemperor: In Vas Mani

Petey lives beyond what he would otherwise, but he can't move and he can't seal the deal. He's doomed and asks Hemperor to let him be put out of his misery. Hemperor and I both comply.

Petey's dying words: "this kid is a fag he copies deacons name he's a lil bitch"

Hemperor's assistance to my enemies leads me to his standard hangout, the Britain Graveyard (where Hemperor can be king). I've killed him so many times that he can simply smell when I am near, even when disguised. He calls me out by name. I ignore and go for the steal. He attacks. He dies.

Quit healing my marks, Hemp.

Back to the bank. I openly challenge others to test their PvP mettle against the mighty Deacon. Reduction accepts. But first he has to do about a million things. Christ. Tick tock. Finally, he arrives. Where shall we do this, I ask. He says to let him go put away his horse. *sigh*

I follow him to the stables and at an opportune moment make my move. His bag is nearly empty: bone armor, bandages and a kryss. Some duel this is going to be. I take the kryss, but he doesn't seem to notice. He asks me to gate to the duel location, but I, having no magery, suggest we just walk out of the guard zone. We arrive a large clearing and I dismount. He equips a newbie dagger. Yes, a newbie dagger. I'm somewhat confused, but he attacks me anyways. I remount before the first blows are even traded.

Reduction: Wall it. (I only realized out what this mean as I was writing.)

Reduction: OoOoooO

I take the bandages as my prize. (I can always use more!)

While banking my meager winnings, I get a very unpleasant surprise: [TG] is back. And they want that vanquishing broadsword, or at least want to mete out some punishment. At times like this, there is only one thing a young thief can do, and it's what I do best. I run. I run like hell. I don't know how many were after me. There were two at least on my tail. But I am fast. I manage to run the entirety of Britain in a circle all the way back to the bank and then down to the moongates. I lose them, but come to a realization. These guys are constantly on the prowl for action. And now I am a suitable target. I'll have to be careful.

There are lot more encounters I could tell you about, but this is getting absurdly long as it is. I was hoping that my adventure would end with [TG] pouncing on me out of nowhere, that I would fall to a mighty barrage of Corp Pors and halberds. I would go out in a blaze of glory, a hero to every thief that met his or her end to a guard while stealing ten mandrake root from a guy in bone armor named RoXx U.

But that ain't the way it went.

I stole a lot of things. I made a lot of people mad, either for stealing or pretending to be Deacon. But in the end, all that happened is my two hours of disguise were up. I changed back to plain ol' chum, I stocked my vendor with my winnings and the world was aright. I'll let my screenshots do the rest of the talking.

[chumbucket]

More pics!

[chumbucket]

And more!

[Krug'gruk]

HAHAHA, I love these Chum. Keep em coming.

[BlackFoot]

man i hate you so much.. but i cant help love you at the same time...
you ruin my day.. then you make my day...
i am at a loss

[chumbucket]

Still more.

[chumbucket]

It never ends!

[chumbucket]

Last ones!

[Ebolter]

If you are not a writer, you should be. I really look forward to reading your posts from day to day, some very funny stuff and well written too.

[Lofa]

I think these are great Chum! Nothing wrong with using that name if it was givin to you! And isn't Deacon red anyways so people should know. But great stories and screen shots. as blackfoot has said, can ruin then make your day great.

[venox]

If you are not a writer, you should be. I really look forward to reading your posts from day to day, some very funny stuff and well written too.

word!

you tales and adventures are always enjoyable to read.

[brandonsantacruz]

Hey, any idea where Tano of cloak and dagger lives?

[Mr.T]

O god man that was you lol.... That makes it hilarious hehe. I thought you were some homo that made a new guy to try and act like Deacon.

Even though you make me look like such a dick. It's funny watching me die