chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

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chumbucket
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chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by chumbucket »

I am often accused of being a griefer, of hurting the shard by driving players away. I don't think that is true. I prefer to think of myself as a mischief maker, as someone who fills a vital role in the UO world. I am the guy you geniunely just don't like, the guy you actually want to kill, dry loot and then kill his horse. (I'm certainly not the only one). In short, I think of myself as everyone's enemy, as opposed to being just another player that is orange. I also think of my self as a source of amusement for others.

Witness some of the events of today. Dressed in my standard issue newbie outfit with the name of Lazarus, I came across to two fine chaps. One went by the name Caliban. The other's name I have forgotten. I greeted them. A quick peek in a pack tells me that the nameless one is loaded down with resources: leather, cloth, wool and 730 gold.

Lazarus: Sirs. I am new. Do you have 730 gold that you might lend me?

They immediately know that something is up. The nameless one asks why I am peeking in packs, but I ignore him. Instead, I ask Caliban if he might loan me exactly the amount of gold he has in his pack, around 350 as I recall. He is also loaded down in leather, cloth, wool and so on. And he has a silver sword of ruin.

I steal it.

Now, some of you are saying to yourselves: "See. You are a griefer. These two guys are clearly new. And here you go taking a silver sword of ruin when (a) you are not a sword user, (b) you don't hunt monsters and (c) the sword can't even be sold for much at your vendor." I admit to all of it, but you should hear the rest before you pass judgment.

Caliban wants his sword back. He attacks. He hits hard. He sets me to fleeing many times. But he is new. And so he loses our fight. When he reaches sixteen percent health, I sue for peace.

Lazarus: Sir, do you yield?

His friend heals him, and then he responds.

Caliban: no I am sick of thieves and bullies. you'll hafta kill me.

Never let it be said that I have never done anyone a favor. Almost immediately after he requests that I kill him, I do as he asks. I have slain the mighty newbie, while his friend helplessly looks on. But--and here is the evidence!--I am generous. I resurrect the fallen newbie and graciously offer to return his sword...on one condition.

He is slow to ask what the condition is.

Caliban: Thieves are assholes. I've been on this shard for three day and all i get is THIEVED and BULLIED. (I will have to look in to how to THIEVE with capital letters.)

Finally, he relents. And wants to know my conditions for the return of his goods.

Lazarus: Ok. Repeat after me: ZOMG CHUMBUCKET FUCK YOU

Caliban: ZOMG CHUMBUCKET FUCK YOU

And so he got his sword back, I got my screenshot and we can all rest assured that, with a little luck, he will go on with his newbie goods to slay mongbats, join [T2A], use l33t HAX, and, after looking back at a UO lifetime of accomplishment, he may even totally PWN some newbs ZOMG.
Attachments
"Do you yield, sir?"
"Do you yield, sir?"
He refuses to loan a poor newb (me) some gold.
He refuses to loan a poor newb (me) some gold.
I R NEW GLD PLS
I R NEW GLD PLS
Last edited by chumbucket on Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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chumbucket
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by chumbucket »

More shots!
Attachments
I grant him a favor.
I grant him a favor.
Ouch.
Ouch.
He refuses to concede.
He refuses to concede.

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chumbucket
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by chumbucket »

Even more!
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I win!
I win!
He can have his sword back on only one condition!
He can have his sword back on only one condition!
His friend comments.
His friend comments.

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ScoobyDoO
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by ScoobyDoO »

i...i really dont know what to say..
Last edited by ScoobyDoO on Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

johttenn
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by johttenn »

:lol:

Wow!

Luminarie
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by Luminarie »

poor guy
Luminarie

eyesdearth
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Re: chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Can I have 730 gold?

Post by eyesdearth »

ZOMG if you wore a straw hat instead of a wizard's hat you'd look just like Black Mage / Vivi.

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