chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: An Open Letter to Derrick

[chumbucket]

Derrick,

For too long have you tyrannized us with your red robe and GM powers. We are legion. You cannot stop us. We strike when you least expect. Until our demands our met, we will kill without remorse all those who are away from their keyboard and meet any other of the following conditions.

(1) Spamming at a bank.

(2) Have items of value equipped or in a backpack.

(3) Named 'Finley' or are a member of the guild PWN.

(4) Would be funny to kill.

(5) Named 'Azteka'.

We cannot be stopped. The citizens of UOSA have no remedy. They can only hide in their homes. Only you can bring this nightmare to an end. And to do so, you must meet all of our conditions, which follow.

(1) Maahes must have the gender of his avatar changed to female.

(2) Maahes must be given a beard.

(3) Maahes must be in-game married to Hemperor during an elaborate ceremony.

(4) Mongbat maps must be implemented.

We have already given you a taste, but we are just getting started. We are legion. We cannot be stopped. We await your reply. If you doubt us, then see for yourself.

[Ebolter]

Yes we can!

[Stinkfink]

We have some more demands.

(1) No murder counts for killing inside the guard zone

(2) Bank boxes will be lootable if open at time of death

(3) Looting a blue char after killing it in town will not be a criminal action

(4) Derrick cant use 'said GM powers' to save himself when we attack him. (you know I had you in moonglow sitting on that log )

[Derrick]

For the protection of our citizenry, your demands shall be immediately put on my massive "list" of length (and girth) for implementation purely at my own convenience. The Maahes/Hemp marriage however is certainly deserving of a special priority and shall be performed this evening in Trammel. See you all there!