8-11-11 Patrol

[Border Patrol]

Hail citizens!,

I went out on patrol on the Eighth of August Two Thousand and Eleven and encountered some strange individuals indeed. This will be a 4 part report.



Before I even check in to the BPD HQ I am doing some errands and when I stroll through Britain I see Barney already on patrol and laying the smack down while serving Justice to an unsavory criminal......Chief Atraxi and Lord British would be proud.

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Me and Barney start conversing over the corpse of the dead thief talking about our day when another perma grey thief comes along. We give chase and I lose him for a second but Barney does not. Barney uses proper Police Procedure and boxes the thief in. Again Barney gives another miscreant some cold hard Justice.

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I finish up what needs to be done errand wise and am about to check in. Turbo shows up in Guild chat and is about to check in for duty. I scurry to the HQ after putting on a fresh uniform and we both check in at the same time.

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As we make our way to West Brit Bank the good citizen Cherry approaches and gives me a new uniform as a gift.

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On the West side of the bank David Spade shows off his low class mentality and spouts off many racial slurs to the police.

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It quickly turns to harassment as he follows the police around the bank screaming various racial slurs and vulgarity. We show no emotion nor do we say anything back. Strict police procedure requires us to be above such things as pitiful name calling or arguing with such moronic citizens.

It is called HONOR and showing some CLASS.

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Soon a noob citizen wearing a death robe shows up and poisons me. What I thought was just a random act of unkindness would soon turn into a repetitive thing the whole night. Evidently this individual loves having to get rezed, loves time outs, and frequents the local healer quite often.....

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After healing myself I notice Black Mamba was perma grey. Justice needs to be served with force since he resists and he is properly run down like a dog on my trusty steed and dies almost instantly. He didn't stand a chance.....

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The best thief is a dead thief.

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Bong Lord shows up again to do what he does best. Poison the police with noob regs and get guardwhacked....

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Part 2 is next.

[Border Patrol]

Hail Citizens!,

Part 2 starts off with West Brit bank clean of thieves and Bong Lord once again showing me what nightshade is good for.....getting him killed.

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It is not long after that before a thief we were keeping our eye on decides to step out of line. Justice quickly rears it's head again and the thief gets to enter the spirit world for a time out to think about his crimes against humanity.

Lord Bong shows up again to show me his new technique. He now adds to his poison guardwhacking routine verbal insults. Some will be of him glorifying his idol Hitler

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Karnac is up to no good. Upon further inspection he has contraband on him. His failure to heed to the commands of police require the next course of action....lethal force.

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This one is for the coroner.

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Not very long after Karnac's passing a new thief I had never dealt with before gets curious. After snooping me he finds out why you do not snoop Border Patrol and his curiosity gets him killed.

This will be the only time all night my anti-snooping device will be activated. They are finally starting to learn....

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Now some guy name Weed Punch starts using Bong Lord kamikaze death tactics. I bet it is same guy because they start alternating poison attacks after other one dies....

*Cue The Benny Hill music*

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Then Bong Lord...

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U MAD BRO?

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I think he mad

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Part 3 is next with plenty of Benny Hill music

[Border Patrol]

*keeps Benny Hill music playing and taps feet*

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I think he mad

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He adds Hitler to his insults to poisoning tactics while Benny Hill music plays.....

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I think he chose wrong name.

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He wants Hitler to be president for 1012...

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[Border Patrol]

*Benny Hill Music is still playing in background*

*stops benny Hill music*

After all that Benny Hill madness a thief finally makes a mistake and is pounced upon. A long chase of hide and seek ensues.

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Long chase ends and Justice prevails. VCast's contraband and illegal wares are consfiscated for evidence purposes.

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Upon returning to West Brit I am greeted with kindness.... *cues more Benny Hill*

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Soon even his idol known as "Adolph" has had enough and kills him...... this pic is priceless.

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Benny Hill is still playing evidently

37HeIsLordOfNoobDeath.jpg (153.36 KiB) Viewed 2688 times

I was not giving him the satisfaction of saying anything to him or showing emotion. He gets bored with me and starts poisoning others to Benny Hill music....

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Very shortly after all the poison madness more racial slurs are slung at police......

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Stay tuned for the conclusion of this crazyness in part 4!

[Border Patrol]

In part 4 our local racist explains how since Derrick does not care it some how makes it the right thing to do!

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He then explains how in his own peabrain sized mind it is a free country therefore racial slurs are acceptable in his world....

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Soon after that he gets really vulgar with our newest Cadet. Being the police comes with many haters who embrace chaos.

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After we wash our eyes out with bleach we get to bathe in more poison.....

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Then some miscreant known as cake face bombs us with fire crackers. he gets guard whacked and our newest Cadet Turbo gets a 4th of July bag set. It comes with a Ice White 4th of July hat.

Hurrah for Justice!!!!

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Our friend Hiccup shows up to fix some of my "mount" issues...

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Not long after my annoying mount issue is solved the elusive thief known as Eluvium goes grey after a failed attempt at a steal. He refuses to comply with authority so lethal force is used for apprehension.

His frail body cannot take the abuse and ends up sitting in Lord British's timeout corner...

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Alas the night gets late and our shifts come to an end and we retire to our dwellings.

Citizens,
Let this report be evidence of the severe physical and mental punishment we endure to make sure the good citizens of Britain are safe from thugs.

Our service is not a pursuit of wealth or loot but it is instead a necessary sacrifice for Honor, Justice, and to help protect the weak and unknowing from thieves and criminals who desire to not let patrons bank in peace.

Border Patrol out....*salutes*

[Tiwstacain]

You know, I enjoy a little trash talk when I am rping my thief, but these ppl need to relax a little bit and remember that if they choose to b grey/thieves. You will die, You will. It is part of the roll. I realize that they are not concerned with language, which judging from that gentlemans use of the n bomb is rather sad. BTW, enjoying the patrol adventures. never a lack of thieves




TC

[Malaikat]

Anyone who cites the 1st amendment as justification for using profanity on a privately owned server should be perma banned for reasons of stupidity.

[Brymstone]

Kind of funny how you don't post the pics of that thief who ran you out of the town square with a poisoned warfork, then ran around the bank shouting how you were a B$%ch and he was THE LAW. Wish I would have taken a screenshot it really was priceless. You got poisoned a few times and bugged out leaving all those innocent civilians to the whims of that fanatical criminal.....tsk tsk BPD.

[Border Patrol]

Kind of funny how you don't post the pics of that thief who ran you out of the town square with a poisoned warfork, then ran around the bank shouting how you were a B$%ch and he was THE LAW. Wish I would have taken a screenshot it really was priceless. You got poisoned a few times and bugged out leaving all those innocent civilians to the whims of that fanatical criminal.....tsk tsk BPD.

Citizen,

I also find it funny out of the many times that war thief has come to start trouble, that was the only time it was me who ran. I have NPC pots because the alchy I know is lazy and never trains his skill, so when I go through all 12 or 14 of them like candy and I continue to be poisoned, it is a rather smart thing to do.

Being ignorant and dying for no good reason is not my cup of tea. You can be upset because he did not kill me all you want.

You are most likely the individual you speak of since you are never at the bank when he strolls in already grey.