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 Post subject: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:15 am 
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This long tale of revenge begins with a true tale of irony.

Innocently sitting upon Britain Bank with my fully trammel geared character one day, I retorted a line of mockery towards Escobart. When all of a sudden a new player I had never seen before, War Problems (aptly named for the rest of this tale) walked up to me and started calling me all sorts of heinous names. The one line that caught me off guard the most was "ur a pussxy bitch", to which I took great offense.

From that day, I swore revenge! I happened to know a couple of his guildmates, and upon asking for their assistance in exacting my revenge they denied me access to his housing and personal information. I was saddened, so I did it the hard way. I ran the map looking for newly placed smalls on my UOAM and ghosted them until I found him. At this point I've found 4 of his smalls and one L-shape. Semantics aside, I hadn't filled my blood lust and I didn't feel like I had avenged myself at this point.

But, what would ya know? As a veteran IDOCer I saw his name in the FDA guild whilst IDOCing a tower nearby one day. I knew this was my opportunity. Apparently though, he hasn't made too many friends here either and one of my compadres was willing to help. In our efforts to locate this fine young gentleman and monitor his activities though, we were disrupted by an evil villain! This horrible monster named Donkey Aperture killed our hidden newbie char right outside of their guild patio. Being a villainous tyrant, I found it only proper to now turn my immediate attention towards making him pay for his murder. I couldn't wait for the 2gp bounty, so I jumped right in!

I went and found his head from the self-defense kill shown below from last night. I was farming Elder Gazer's for 3 hours until mister Detinher and his tamer friend gated in 50 dragons to kill my 8 dragons and me alike. Well, unfortunately for him and his dragons, I was on a fully geared tankmage. So, with this head as bait I laid it on his porch knowing that he wasn't afk inside and just hidden. Swoosh! He ran to the door and grabbed the head. However, a harm, weaken, paralyze, explosion, purple pot, energy bolt, and +20 vanq halberd to the face left him at 8%. Ha! he thought. But, where was he to go? He stood against a wall while the door was open to avoid an energy bolt finishing his miserable existence. Fear not readers, I knew to throw a purple pot against the wall! Upon doing that, he ran like a coward! Sadly, this coward met another energy bolt to the face.

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As the door lay open and his body exposed to the maggots and flies kept inside this mess of a house, my stealther decided to go check out the house. After all, cleaning services cost 50k an hour with Joe. I figured with his cowardly actions of killing newbies and running from my tankmage, he would surely appreciate this color dye tub more.

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Albeit, I figured it would only be appropriate if I went and checked out what he had after all.

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Well, it turns out that he thought I was a thief! I can't tell you how offended I was, because he brought his other character in to try and harass my poor little Vega who was helping him not only clean, but organize his possessions! Well, I won't stand for it.

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In the end, I found a very heavy reagent box with a lot of kegs, a ton of magic halberds, and some outstanding katanas. So, well, I started gating it out. If I'm to organize this poor souls loot and pay him retribution for his actions, I've got to go through it first. Simple logic, no? But AGAIN, this fool of all fools came on another character and banned me. Seeing that he was detecting, I knew a ban was shortly coming. For only a murderous fool who attempts to leave his mark on newbies would suspect such malicious actions. Well, after banning me I was gating out some of those halberds and katanas, only to see him tag along! I was dumbfounded! He killed himself in the most disgusting seppuku I've ever witnessed, let alone heard of.

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In end the, much like the fairy tales of the real world, the valiant and honorable always wind up victorious somehow. The total loot: 51,000 regs, 23,000 gold pieces, 30 GM kegs, 1,500 of each PvP scroll, 60,000 bandages, a bag of power weapons, a bag of vanquishing weapons, and a bag of charged weapons including the glorious halberd shown below. This doesn't conclude the loot, as I'm still trying to track down a few of this savage's bags of newbie loot. Worry not, this scum was dealt with in the most genuine and honorable ways.

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To conclude what is definitely a tale for all to enjoy, know that War Problems is still being sought out after victimizing so many honorable, innocent proprietors and noble gentleman. As one of those gentleman, I offer a truce under these conditions:

1. War Problems changes his name to Vegas Slave

2. War Problems turns blue and never attempts to verbally impose his will on another individual.

3. Donkey Aperture leaves a formal apology in this thread and offers a fair price of 60,000 gold pieces for his traumatic actions.

Until next time, stay safe Brittanians!

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Denis the Menace wrote:
Vega for me you are just exploiting the uosa system with your vanq charged spellreflect recall invis pink boobi pvp trammel style which never existed on osi, so stfu.

Jakob wrote:
Regardless of douchebag, fair player or Vega.


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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:19 am 
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Awesome man, great story and totally murdered him and his black tub. Please post more like this.


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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:27 pm 
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Myrnae wrote:
Awesome man, great story and totally murdered him and his black tub. Please post more like this.

I have a lot of these, I just never take the time... for the same reason that this seems to not be worth the time :p

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Denis the Menace wrote:
Vega for me you are just exploiting the uosa system with your vanq charged spellreflect recall invis pink boobi pvp trammel style which never existed on osi, so stfu.

Jakob wrote:
Regardless of douchebag, fair player or Vega.


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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 11:11 am 
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just to think this punk (war problems) and his little b***h of a buddy baconater were for a short time in my guild. When these punks first started we put them in the guild to help and guide them. Shortly after waisting our time and money on them bacon was caught stealing guild funds. and for that shamless act i not only have no simpathy for them but also would like to offer any assistance you need in cleansing the populatin of these to fools

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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:29 pm 
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Wow that shade of pink is magical. What do you charge to dye a few items?


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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:46 pm 
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what's wrong with pink??!?!?!!


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[16:18] <jaygee> theres a nobs born every day storx

[09:50] <Gandalf[7thson]> if you guys can't handle that everyone who plays this game isn't a greasy nerd with a fat wife then I dont know what to tell you guys


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 Post subject: Re: FDA - You are the weakest link, goodbye
PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:10 pm 
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rofl, dying a black tub pink = priceless


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