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 Post subject: An OLD story from UO days gone by ..........
PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 10:48 am 
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Found this in my email archives. It is one of those classic moments on UO that remind you of why you play this game. Must have been posted in some UO Stratics forum ages ago (I haunted Spiels 'n Rants for a few years back in the 2000-2003 time frame):

"First of all. My character name is Chicken Butt. I am a rogue on the Sonoma Shard, with an eye for Katanas. Especially GM made Katanas.

Well, I happened to find myself looking through this gentleman's belongings, and to my pleasure, I found a GM made Katana. The gentleman, Sandro, wouldn't miss it, I'm sure. I picked it up, and went along my merry way.

Well, his friends, the good people of a guild named OTE, weren't so sure that Sandro didn't need the sword.
They came looking for me. But there's one thing that you learn about me once you get to know me. If I don't want to be found... I wont be found. I used my skills to dart through the shadows, and make my way back to the bank, where everyone had forgotton that moments ago I had lifted a weapon that wasn't mine. Well, everyone, that is, except his guild mates. I deposited my newfound sword into the bank, and went to discuss the matter with my new found friends.

I was informed that if I didn't return the item, I would have "OTE on my ass." Being a hetro-sexual male, I don't like the sound of a gang of other males being on my ass. I spit in his face to show him that I didn't appreciate the pick up line. But knowing that I owed a debt to Sandro, I let him get out his frustrations on me. He came at me with his steel, and peirced my flesh, which had no armor (as my bone helm and legs were in my backpack).
After I had died, the good people at OTE patted themselves on the back, commented about how they rule Brittainia, and informed me that they would kill me on the spot if they ever saw me again. As you can probably guess, I was very upset at the notion of being killed by the UO equivalant of the Village People.

After I ressed, I wanted to tell them that I didn't think too highly of their threats, but when I returned, I saw them all jumping into a magical portal to another land. Being the adventurous soul that I am, I decided to take the trip with them. They groaned as they saw me run into the portal, the friendly group that they are.

I was met on the other side of the portal with the greeting of Cor Por. I returned the greeting with the well known salutation, "OOO oooo OOOOOOO." The members of OTE got a good laugh outta me bing dead, and once again commented on how OTE rules, and how they are the kings of Brittania. I decided to tag along on this little adventure, to see the kings of Brittania at work. And see them work I did!

They were hunting a killer in the midst of a dungeon... Destard I believe.
There were horrid earth elementals
everywhere attacking anything that moved. The scout that they had sent was killed by an earth elemental, the poor soul. He was ressed by his troup, and sent along to try to get his stuff back.

The rest of the clan kind of clamoured around, as if they were waiting for the PK to fall in their lap, and fall dead in front of them. They discussed strategy, but didn't really appear to use any, as I found out later.

I traveled on ahead of these brave soldiers to see what was in store for them. And I found it. A lone murderer, attacking Earth Elementals. I tried warning the murderer, as I had no allegiance to the brave group that is known as OTE. However, my warnings fell on deaf ears. The arcane knowledge of pressing the spirit speak macro had escaped his training. I decided that if he wasn't going to help, then I would aid the soldiers of his prescence.

I ran back to the OTE fellows, and tried to tell them. I found that they too were without knowledge of the spirit speak macro button. I had also noticed that they had thinned out a little. There were only four of them now, and one of them was in res robes.

The res robed guy went on to scout. He had nothing to lose. He ran to the killer and tried to lead him to his comrades. No luck. The Murderous Lor would not be led that far. He was too schooled in the arts of war for that.

The scout rejoined his three other OTE members, and informed them of the killers prescence. This must have shook fear in them, as they debated about what the three of them should do against this lone star killer. After a small debate about whether they should call for reinforcements, or take this killer right now, one of the OTE members finally yelled "Lets get im!"

They charged. "Attack!" one fo them yelled when they reached the killer.


"Which one of you wants to die first?" the killer growled, and opened up with a Cor Por. But alas, it fizzled out. Once more, a Cor Por. And yet another fizzle. The third time... a fizzle. This guy was going to be run in by this mighty guild, it became apparent to me.

However, he seemed to escape the onslaught. With the declaration of "Wait here. I'll be back," the killer disappeared into thin air.

The air was that of Triumph for the OTE guild members. "What a bitch," and "What a P*$$y" was hearalding through the caverns. The members of OTE were walking a little taller knowing that they had shown that murderor who owned these caverns.

They went back to a spot that they had all congregated before, complaining about how there were many of them, but when it came time to kill a murderer, the rest had seemed to vanish. They sweared, and called some of their fellow members names that can't be repeated on this fine forum. They were obviously upset by the lack of harmony that their guild was displying. What, you might ask. The mighty OTE? The Kings of this land? Disharmonious? True.

They met up with three other members of their guild. Six they were total now.

"what happened?"

"A PK"

"Where is he"

"He punked out, we ran him off"

"good job"

"Where were you guys?"

"Lets get out of here, he's coming back"

"no, lets stay, we can take him"

"he's coming with friends"

"I'm leaving"

"I'm staying"

While thay bickered, the Killers older brother had shown up, a murderous fellow by the name of Keys.

"Looks like I'm killing six of you today," he bellowed. The attack was on.
Six guildmembers of OTE against the one fellow. the six fellows were bumbling around... One cast paralyse, but got bounced back onto himself.

Others tried to attack, and some were successful. The killer ran through the halls, away from the guild. Just as soon as he got far enough out fo their range, he recalled to a spot behind them in the dungeon.

They were all standing around, patting temselves on the back for their fine work of chasing the killer out when they noticed the Energy Vortex in between them. One dropped. Two dropped. the rest chased the killer. Three dropped. Four dropped. The rest ran from the killer. Five dropped. The sixth was in hiding. The killer searched around. And finally six dropped.
Six members of the OTE guild were obliterated by one lone killer.

"Say Cheese" the killer said as he no doubt hit the print screen key on his keyboard. Six members of the so called kings of Britannia killed by one person.

Needless to say, I laughed my Chicken Butt off.

They called in freinds to ressurect them. I was lucky enough to get ressurected by the kind friends. They opened us up a gate to Minoc.

I stopped Sandro. I gave him back his beloved sword.

"Why?" he asked me.

"I had some serious fun on you guys tonight. Isn't that what the game is all about. Thanks for the adventure."

-Chicken Butt
Adventurous Rogue


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 Post subject: Re: An OLD story from UO days gone by ..........
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2015 1:24 am 
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I enjoyed the read always love these kind of shannigans

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 Post subject: Re: An OLD story from UO days gone by ..........
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:48 am 
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A good pwn!

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[20:38] <newYorK>i love how franz is in game robbing me while im reading his comic
[20:38] <newYorK> priceless


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