It has been a long day and cA has been out working to bring the world stories! This story begins after we were viciously cheated, murdered and our carcases were hung up naked on the walls of Kylock's tower so he could have something to touch himself to.
Shortly afterward Sterno and I happened to go into a gate to innocently buy items from vendors of Health. We noticed a PK named "Jack" hiding with an ugly hag named "Jill" (I think they're trying to reference the children's story "Jack and Jill," which isn't very clever if you ask me). I get a text message on guild radio from Matron saying he happened to be looking for Jill! He wanted to help her become stronger in UO! Sterno and I tell him about our location.
Not too much later Jack comes up with foam from his mouth (I think he has rabies), and violently assaults us. After he took 20 minutes to murder the two of us (with no items), we tell Matron and we devise an ingenious plan. We all knew Health and Jack were of the same people, like two clones went wrong.
Health at this time was a noble citizen, who didn't share his alter ego with the world except to the group cA. So we too decided to create clones of our own, of the one man Health hated the most... Ireland's Finest. We had to show the guards the true colors of Health and so we called our friends over at the cloning lab and asked them for a favor.
We make quite a few Ireland's Finest and a couple Sterno's, and Sterno gated us to the tower immediately so we could outsmart the ugly transvestite known as Health.
As we arrive, we send our men in two at a time -- Matron sent his Ireland's finest clone and Sterno sent in one of his clones of himself. Health, being the no good slime bucket he is, decides to kill the two unarmed men. Matron, Sterno and I weren't too sure if we wanted to report him to Lord British so we waited, keeping the option available.
As he continued to kill us, we decided to stop letting ourselves be murdered. Then Health went into town, and we decided Health could be a problem for all bards across Britannia. We decide to give Lord British the news all at once.
Lord British being the man that he is began yelling at us! "You fools!" He shouts. "Why would thou not report this to me right away! We must take care of this insolent ugly murderer immediately!" As British radios his guards I happened to have my original character watch Health as he was immediately punished! Health is no longer surrounded by a blue aura, but now a red! His true colors show!
With a quick battle, evil was punished! The guards made waste of his enormous-fat covered body, and Britain was safe once again thanks to Sterno, Matron de Winter, myself, and guest appearance towards the end -- Freeza. We all celebrate by taking pictures in memory of Health, for he may have at one point in his life been a good man.
So I'd like to remind you all, being a no-good, two-faced, sucker like Health will get you punished. For if the guards cannot investigate these unnoticed details, it will be cA to the rescue! Thank you and have a great day! SALUD!
P.S. UO is racist -- They made a black woman, with curly hair, named her Africa, and the only thing she can be is an actress? Tsk tsk EA!
