Vishakt's Shadowqwezt

[Vishakt]

Shadowclan has been on the server for a while, currently under the name the Broken Tusk Horde. This is the story of how Vishakt earned his promotion to the rank of grunt. Its written in orcish so good luck with that.

Vishakt's Shadow Quest

[Batlin]

I wish I could read it without breaking my head.
Any sort of automated translator out there?

[Vishakt]

I don't know of any translators. Plus only a few words are made up. Just sound everything out and most of its in english. Kigg=spear, ragz are bandages... that should get you through it.

[MatronDeWinter]

I wish I could read it without breaking my head.
Any sort of automated translator out there?

x2

I can't read through that without imagining parents talking to an infant. Perhaps you could give us the summarized version in english?

[Vishakt]

Story time at your house must have sucked growing up. Good point though...our dialect is designed to be easy(ish) yet seem different...let me see what I can do.

This is the story of Vishakt's Shadow Quest. It will be updated as tasks are completed.

It was a typical day. Vish went to the fort where he met Piz'urk Kooki'nom for the first time. Buurz'Dush the majok'ii and Kooki had apparently been clearing the fort of shardees (spawn). Everything was quiet until Ri (Ri'Kun) appeared and called for a line up. Apparently he had an announcement to make.



This next pic is Kooki interrupting Ri to entertain himself. He basically kept trying to twist things so that it was his time for the quest.



Here I call Kooki and the reader (you ) an idiot. I'm in character after all.


Ri informs us that there are 5 tasks that Vish must complete in order to become a Grunt.

First - Vish must kill 3 humans and keep their heads. Then he needs to make a shrine to the Wargod with them and then eat them.

Second - Vish must go to Turtle Bay and burn down their docks. He needs to make sure they know who did it.

Third - Vish needs to find trapped boxes from somewhere and get as many humans as possible to blow themselves up.

Fourth - Vish has to go into Shame and ambush and human that is farming mages.

Fifth - Vish needs to return to the fort with information of the human player run towns on the shard.

Now I insult Tor'Kak just for fun, and the quest begins as all of ours do...with dying.



Ri resses Vish agh gives him some things to start off with. 11 bandages, a helmut, and some boots.



HOOWAH!!! Here I go!!!

[Vishakt]

CHAPTUR ONE


I have nothing. Not a great situation to be in. I need to find a spear! I realize thats not a problem and head south to the Brigunds camp to look for what I need.



Since I cannot beat the brigand to death I impersonate an innocent human in danger so that their puny guards will kill the brigand.



I'm starting to feel alright now. It was easier than I thought to get a spear. Of course I need bandages, and a spear can't handle that. I decide to look for a dagger.



Of course I have no idea where to get one. I started checking houses hoping someone will leave one in a lockbox considering it worthless junk. I don't find that, but get a consolation prize.



I'm off again, this time with a fully belly. I don't get far before I hear a horse galloping my way. I see a mounted human but he runs right off. Despite my sorry state many humans will run from a red name before checking it out. This one seems to be one of those.






I was hoping to demand some tribute from that one. A dagger wouldn't have been much to ask. I was hoping he might return...and unfortunately I got my wish.



It was a decently long fight. It probably shouldn't have been. I was cautious about burning through my bandages. This human didn't seem overly skilled, but after a bit he did seem to realize my situation. He began to cast poison on me. Knowing that the end was upon me I ran around a lot and stashed my backup spear and bandages behind a house before I fall. Orcs might be dumb but we aren't stupid.

This human...I wasn't so sure about him. He offered to res me but after several fails realized that he couldn't res. Nice.




So I ran all the way to the Chaos Shrine and back. Luckily my spear and bandages were still there.

I ran around and found some orc spawns that had human prisoners in camps. I VERY slowly killed off the shardee orcs so as to save bandages. I had to use a few for the orc mages but in the end I had some ringmail and some bone armor from passing skeletons. Again I started to feel pretty good about myself.

For about 10 seconds. A mounted human (is there any other kind?) recalled in right frikkan next to me. Not good. He attacked me immediately. Also not good. I was down to 2 bandages. I figured I was pretty much screwed.



Yep. I was right. He got me. I tried but not much I could do there. So its back to the Chaos Shrine to res. This run really sucks.

Okay so fast forward. I have nothing. I decide maybe scavanging will work out better for me. Plus I need scissors. Hadn't thought of that until this point. I end up hopping through a magical gate which takes me to a Pirate City (Buc's Den for the slow). I was hoping a vendor there might sell scissors but no dice. On the plus side, corpses were all over. Some potential there.




Humans are greedy. Nothing on any of these bodies except for a headband. Suddenly a 2v2 breaks out around me. I followed them but again by the time I catch up there is nothing to have. My quest isn't going very well up to this point.

I decide to go back to home invasions hoping to find things laying around. At this time I was south east of the Bloodrock Clan fort. Of course I found nothing. Interestingly enough, someone finds me. A human recalls back to his house while I'm inside. He doesn't seem particularly happy about this fact. He reveals me and I instantly hide. Again...and again. For about 5 minutes we do this. He won't give up. So long story short...I'm dead...again.



At least this guy isn't a moron. He knows that he can res me and he does. A big HOOWAH to this guy with the weird ass name and strong magic. We talk for a while. Like Matron, he can't understand our language, but he tries at least. I decide to ask for a dagger, which we call an igg. (ash means a or one)



Stinking humans. This clown leaves 100 Sulph Ash on the ground and recalls away. He's lucky he did because I was just about to beat him to death with my fists for that dagger.

Now I'm basically starting all over again. I find a brigand with a dagger and get a human guard to kill it. At this time I finally realize how I can get bandages. Its time to break out the five finger discount.



I head back to the Yew area. Now I have a dagger and some bandages. 41 bandages to be exact. I can fight a little now so I get a new spear and some armor off random spawn.

With no real options I decide to set up an ambush. I choose the mountain pass to Delucia hoping that there is some traffic there. After hanging for a while I see only one and he squeezes right through my little blockade. Giving up I look around the nearby houses. One of them was apparently owned by an orc who turned human! I'm not sure how he did that but don't want to know. But now, I love his former orc. Why you ask?



HOLY FRIKKAN HOOOOOOWWWWAAAAHHHH!!!! He had scissors in a lock box!

I select a cave to bed down in for the night. I am up to a thousand bandages and have extra spears and armor. I am FINALLY ready to get started.

[Vishakt]

CHAPTER TWO

Okay then. Dis is the tale of task number one. Ri told me:

First - Vish must kill three humans and keep there heads. Then make a shrine to the Wargod out of them and eat the heads.

Right. Well. I'll blaze through the boring part. I ran all over Brittania several times and found no one (who wasn't macroing in a locked house). Then I got myself killed twice in one day. Fun. But then...after rebuilding my stash yet again I finally wised up. I moved my base of operations over near the Chaos Shine so dying wouldn't be such a pain in my ass.

It turned out well. The first human I saw was in a large house right next to Chaos!!! This dumbhead was just sitting there apparently doing nothing so I deciding he needed to die.




This stinking panzy kept trying to cast magic on me, apparently by yelling "EYEBANDEE" or something. I'm a little leery of magic so I just keep flat lining him. I just need a few seconds to get his head without him running back in screaming again but he isn't making it easy. He keeps ressing at Chaos and rushing back in. Eventually I kill him on his steps and realize my work here is done.



This human was a tad angry but seemed to calm when I said that I just wanted his head. He was confused and couldn't understand me so I just turned around and left him to his things.

My next step was to check a cave full of creatures...Dese pies Vish overheard it called. Hrmm...I'M HUNGRY NOW!!! Anyway, there were no pies in there. What a rip off. On the way out I saw many humans fighting each other...it was chaos...but then other humans came in to restore order. They all ran from me. But, in the pass I saw another human who just happened to be on foot. Take a look how that encounter ended.



I ressed him and let him collect his things before chopping him up into little pieces.



Seconds later a mounted human comes by apparently to avenge him. I chased him away screaming HOOWAH! and pounded my chest. He came back and after some excellent combat he kills me. Once more I could see the writing on the wall and so I had thrown the head of the last guy into the woods before I died. (the first head was in a bad I had tucked away elsewhere). For a panzy dumbhead human this guy was pretty funny.



After running back to Chaos to res and back I found that he hadn't taken any of my things. HOOWAH!! I could barely say that outloud when yet ANOTHER human showed up.



This human didn't like that apparently. He attacked me and played strange noise that made a nearby floating light angry at me. But than wasn't real smart of the human. Not smart at all.



I ressed this human too and this one decided he wanted to talk some.



I had this strange feeling he was going to tell me that he was my father...but he did not.

Now I had all three heads I needed! HOOWAH! I got out of this human infested area as quickly as possible, made my shrine, and finished this task.





That's it. Task one completed.

[Vishakt]

CHAPTER THREE

For my next trick, I had to burn down the Turtle Bay docks and make sure they understand I did it.

First, I had to find Turtle Bay. It took some searching but wasn't really that hard to locate. Luckily for me, they were relatively close to Chaos. While scouting the area I saw a turtle in their home and knew I'd found them.



What I needed to find were the docks and so I began to look around. They had a lot of interesting things. I found a tree that grew food on it. Even though I am a guest in this human city I decided to do some work. It was time to improve the quality of food around here.



It turns out that the human I mentioned before was a breeder (female), and she wasn't actually sleeping. Oh yeah, and she can command dragons. As you can probably guess, I slew her dragons with ease. Okay, perhaps not. This is what actually happened.



This breeder appeared to believe in orcish virtues as she disarmed my corpse and ressed me. We talked for a bit. I thumped my chest a few times to show gratitude for the res and the dumbhead breeder gave me a lecture about how savages do that, not orcs. HAR! Funny breeder. Then we talked more. I decided to trick this human into showing me where the docks were located.




Har. That's not good. For a second there I thought this wasn't going to work. But the breeder didn't really seem to mind about the apples and led the way to the docks. We talked for a bit. She asked a lot of questions. Then there was a putrid smell in the air. I couldn't quite tell what it was but my nose hairs were burning. Oh, look there. Here comes the source now.



I was without my spear or any bandages but no real orc fears anything that need dragons to fight for it. I realize this won't end well for me but I hadn't spoken with the Wargod in about 10 minutes...starting to miss him. Here's how this went down:






Well...the breeder didn't give me the spear back and the panzy had his dragon eat me for dinner. The human did res me again and then gave me my spear and bandages but the panzy orc opened a magical blue hole and vanished. I'm sure we'll meet again.

So then the human gave me a tour of their lands. I was shown many houses with crazy things, some of which were very impressive. I was starting to worry that this human would never leave my side and let me do my task.



But just like that the human said "be right back" agh vanished. HOOWAH! This was my chance. I took off back to the docks and went to work.



It started slow at first but soon the whole docks went up in flames!



Then to finish the task right I went to their blah board (T2A guild forum) and told them what happened...sort of.

Turtul Bey Blah Burd

HOOWAH!! TASK TWO COMPLETED!!!

[Vishakt]

CHAPTER FOUR

Third - Vish must get trapped explosion boxes from somewhere and get as many humans as possible to blow themselves up.


I was feeling good now and things were progressing nicely, so I was due for a snag. I couldn't find trapped boxes anywhere. Usually, I'd run up to a human and say "Ug!" (hello), and that was the end. They'd either run or start fighting. Don't get me wrong. Normally, that is what I'm going for but at this time I had a task to complete. Each time was different, but I'll mention one encounter for this story.

I saw two humans in a small house. Now I'm not asking what they were doing in there because I don't care if they are breeding or what. Of course there was a horse in there too. Humans.... Anyway, I knocked on the door. The human hopped upon his horse and rode it outside. I explained that I needed the boxes and made him an offer.




Har. If I leared anything on my quest it was that humans LOVE to make counter offers. Usually involving a lot of talking about how they will kill me. Everywhere I go, same song and dance. This human had a horse so my tactic was to fight, chase him away and then hide while slapping on a bandage. Once healed the next round would start.



This time it was a draw. Neither one of us fell, and the human just left in the middle of it. Perhaps he was urgently needed back in his house. *shrugs*

So, long story short (too late, I know) I found what I was looking for in Yew of all stinking places. I really didn't want to use vendors but I seemed to have no choice.



It look quite a long time but now I was ready for some fun! HOOWAH!!!

Actualy, it went fast. Humans are mush heads. You know that already, but some proof is coming up. I found two humans on a road.



One ran away. One remained. The remaining one wasn't in the mood for talking. I set up a nice trap but this human took the gold and attacked!




The fight lasted a while and was not helping me complete my quest. I started trying to box him in with the trapped boxes. I was pretty sure he wouldn't fall for it but perhaps I could lead him to believe thats why I carried all of these boxes. In the end... Human 1 Vish 0.



I waited there as a ghost for a bit. The human took all of my things and just when I expected him to run off he ressed me. I thanked him for that and he hid. Some of my things (see also junk) started appearing on the ground and I realized he was digging through my stuff. That is, until he checked one of the trapped boxes!!! HAR!



This human must not have been real happy about it because he didn't want a res and never came back for his things. An idea came to me. I would make a new trap for the next human with things from the first human. But before I could get started another human showed up.



This guy isn't falling for it. It was time to sweeten the pot.



This panzy ran away but he came back once he thought I was gone. He looked through the bag of victim #1's belongings. He took some, then grabbed the box and ran! But...he just had to look and so he didn't get far...



This human also would not return or show for a res so I collected the first humans things (the 2nd had nothing but low level scrolls) and moved my trap to a new area. I hadn't gone far when I saw the panzy humie from earlier (on the road). The human was banging like a Trog'r or Mak'r does (blacksmithy). I tried to get him to trust me by offering to purchase a spear from him.



This guy was cautious...he attacked me from the porch but wouldn't leave it. Thinking a bit, I came up with a new plan. I said that I had to leave for a bit and I put some things on the ground. I asked him to keep them safe for me. I put an explosion box, the 1st humans things, and some gold on the ground and ran off and hid. Predictably, it took about 5 seconds for this guy to get his brother to take my things!



This one is no idiot however. He drags the box into a small house and uses the eyebandee magic on me. I can no longer enter the home. Then he didn't open the box. WHAT THE SKAH!! ARE YOU NOT CURIOUS??? OPEN THE BOX YOU STINKING HUMAN!!!

But Vlad does not. So on to plan #3. I start to give tribute to the human. He is quite confused by this strategy.



Now I have him right where I want him. I began to talk to the human about this and that. He began to understand me some. It turned out he owned all of the huts in this clearing. The human was now talking a lot. He trusted me now...maybe he thinks we could be friends. This is what I was looking for. Just after helping him slay an Ogre I tried a new tactic.



That's right. I just straight up told him to open it. Why not? OPEN THE BOX DUMBHEAD!!

He did!! Har. This time I was ready and scribbled a picture of it.



I can't put my finger on it...but for some reason I kind of liked that last human. He would make a great slave.

Well, three seemed like enough to me. I considered this task completed. Two more to go!!

[Vishakt]

CHAPTER FIVE

Fourth - Vish must go to the bottom of Shame and ambush a human that is kiling (farming) mages there.


Our orc hero (me!) heads to the Shame hole. I was ready to get done with this and get back to the fort to smash human faces in with my brothers once more...I moved with a new found energy.

No problems getting through the dungeon. No humans are there. I took a moment to look up at what was temporarily to be my new home.



I am not afraid of magic users...but wasn't particularly excited about having to live with them. You know that magicians are terrible things and can do all sorts of nasty things right? There are rumors that they eat vegetables and will drink all of your potions while you aren't looking if you aren't careful. I decided to be extra careful. I slowly made my way inside and found nice spot for an ambush.



I waited....and waited....and waited some more. I went to sleep and woke up...and slepped again. I was getting cramped in there...needed to stretch my legs. I went outside and I could tell that someone had been there recently.



I checked around and found another tower of wizards...this one had a bridge that reminded me of the panzy savages.



I went inside there and set my ambush. No one came. I fell asleep there. The next day I decided to look deeper in the dungeon. I went to the bottom and found a little hut, but there were no magicians there so I went back to the first hut I'd encountered. Where are all the skahing humans???!!



So now I'm back where I started. I waited for three hours. Nothing. My eyes were getting heavy and I was about to lose consciousness when I heard a strange noise. A HUMAN HAD ARRIVED!!



I was very excited. I could not wait to kill this human and leave. I waited unti lhe was close and then set my trap. I blocked the door with a trapped box and then hid my reserve bag in the corner of the room. It was almost time now...I started to drool.



The human got closer....closer...HOOWAH!!! I sprang out of hiding and stabbed him with my spear. He was bleeding all over and peed himself right then and there. I was loving it. The human spurred his horse to action and fled. I was in persuit, seeing red, and more than ready for this quest to end. I chased him outside. The human actually ran near a poison elemental! HAR HAR! Dumbhead human. Now he is going to get it!



Wait...what was that sound? Bah, nevermind....WAARRRGGG!!! I rushed in for the kill. Suddenly I found myself to be paralyzed. The human started to run away again. What the skah is this? I looked up. The poison elemental had para'd me and now it was coming to pay me a visit. Oh skah. The humi was a bard too. Here's a math lesson. One human plus one poison elemental equals what? Yep, you guessed it.



I had a long, angry at myself run to Chaos. I was not pleased. I did make it back though in time to get my stashed bag and set up for another go. This Blackup guy came back and I fought him a few times but he could always just recall away. Eventually he stopped coming back. I got back to waiting.

Then...I sniffed a new human coming. This looked to be promising.



But then...I smelled another human...and another...and them a familiar smell that smelled like the worst poop I'd ever made...thats right...Blackup was with them too. I figured I'd get pretty tired if I had to kill them all at once. So, lucky for them, I gave them a pass...this time.



Well..so then I had to wait again. Days pass. No one comes. Then, on day three of waiting humans start falling from the sky! I woke up and saw some human outside and mage corpses all over. Then the human recalled away. *sigh* I couldn't believe it. But then...before I could get too dejected another human appeared.



I tired to be more patient this time...the human got so close...and then a little hurt....I CAN'T WAIT!!! HOOWAH!!! MEET YOUR MAKER HUMAN!!!



He got away.

Now I'm angry. I got him twice with my spear and he still recalled away without a problem. I started to feel that without poison this situation was hopeless. I killed some of the mages to make myself feel better and then hid once more. Maybe the Wargod was smiling on me that day...another human arrived only moments later.



Finally something is going my way. This human gets almost right on top of me...and right then the wizard POISONS him. I'm not stupid...this is my best chance. The Human apparently wasn't worried. He didn't try to cure himself. Right as I sprung the trap he was casting a spell to get rid of his magical swirling blades.



Har...he is running for it...I'm trying to keep up. SKAH!! He is getting away! He is almost to the stairs. If he gets there he'll be gone. But just then the wizard rained a pillar of fire down on the human. The panzy human fell dead to the floor! HOOWAH! I rewarded the wizard by killing him.



I killed the humans horse but as I did so I remembered the painful run to Chaos from here. Don't tell this to other orcs...but I ressed im and gave him his things back. Well...not his gold. I earned them.

I made my way out of Shame. Unlike on my way in days earlier there were humans everywhere!



I hid for a bit and let them kill each other. Then I just walked right out.



Task four completed. Now its back to the fort with information I've already gathered on my quest. Finally I can go home. Soon, I will be a Grunt!

HOOWAH!!

[Teknix]

A++

best story i've read since chumbucket's tales of adventure

[MatronDeWinter]

Thanks, was an interesting story.

[Tron]

one of the best put together orc quests i've seen.

nice dedication. good job.

[Cataclyst]

That silly Eruushnak! Currently retired We can play patty cake later with your spear and more dragons!

[Jupiter]

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