As the above post indicates, I won second place in today's $$$ dance contest. I have been asked by Wise to post some sort of comment for the larger UOSA community. I would like to use this opportunity to not only tell of the contest, but also of the recent troubles that I have encountered both in Canada and in UOSA.
For starters, please read
My Brave Story.
Today was my first day out of jail. I immediately set out with two goals in mind. First, I acquired a new can of fortified wine. (I only drink half of a can a day, so this will last me through tomorrow.) Second, I logged in to UOSA. Alas, I found that some fraud had taken over my life on UOSA. Worse yet, he has taken my precious collection of red surcoats. I have made it my new goal to get revenge upon this fake Hemperor and to reclaim what is rightfully mine--thousands upon thousands of red surcoats.
But to do that I would need gold. I have asked a number of my friends for gold, either as a favor or because they owe me gold from before my stint in the slammer. They have all rejected it on the grounds that I am not really Hemperor. This fraud has tricked them so thoroughly that do not recognize their own friends when they see them. I would need a new source of gold.
Fortunately, there was the dance contest today and I had the perfect dance. Not only could get the gold I needed, I could also spread my brave story through dance. I did just that.
First, I found a ride to the contest itself.
Once I arrived, I found that one of my competitors would be none other than the impostor playing one of my other characters, Grizzly Adams. His routine was quite impressive (for a fraud). I feared I would not be able to claim either first or second prize. But fortunately his dance was stopped by the town guards.
My time came. I stepped on stage and gave some prefatory remarks: My dance would be an interpretative dance of my own brave story (linked above). I began my routine, telling my story. It was well timed, as it ended just at the one minute cutoff mark. I hoped I would win.
It went well, but not as well as I had hoped. In the end, I claimed second place, which came with 20,000 gold and a silver trophy. This gold will serve me well on my quest to vanquish the impostor Hemperor and to reclaim my surcoats. The trophy will serve me a reminder that I am the one true Emperor of Hemp.
I later confronted the fraud at the two on two tournament, but my battle skills are rusty. It will take some time before I am able to challenge him to a final showdown. In the meantime, I will merely reflect on my lost surcoats.
I would like to thank Wise of $$$ for hosting the event.
Sincerely,
Hemperor
aka The Emperor of Hemp