Alas, my Canadian fortress has been overrun with a pack of mangy American dogs. They will soon know why they are afraid of the dark. They will soon know the bitter taste of death just as I will once again know the sweet victorious taste of fortified wines.
My time has come again. All who oppose me shall perish in a storm of surcoats and Thunderbird. Take heed, UOSA! Take heed!
Signed,
the real Hemperor,
Emperor of Hemp,
Drinker of Fortified Wines,
Bearer of the Surcoat of Truth and Justice
![Image](http://www.thecheers.org/eng/article_pictures/3012/1978.jpg)