SCBA Contest Entry

[Ireland]

Top of the morning to ye!
I happened to be walking, when I noticed a certain member of a guild was begging me to give him an anal cavity search. I decided to help the man out a wee bit and out came what I believed was an incredibly hard piece of feces. So I looked closely and it said "Forest South of Yew." Next thing you know I appear in front of a house, but a house of evil (the smell was incredibly similar to the hard piece of rectal infestation which I dropped right after I appeared in this foul region).

So I quickly hide and sneak my way in to see what is going on. I could see all of them, but they couldn't see me fortunately. I believe they lacked the ability to speak due their innate and putrid stench, or maybe they were just incredibly unintelligent creatures. I notice there are heads of fallen soldiers lying around as if they were trophies, I get a little nervous, but also slightly excited. Around the place lied multiple resources and treasures I could use for my future adventures!

The disgusting creatures notice something was lurking around the house, and I quickly used my magic ability to disappear out of the house to the front of the house! I'm discovered! They attack and paralyze me, but fortunately leave me alone and I secretly sneak back in when I notice they leave. I stand next to their treasure and notice they have all sorts of jewels! I quickly take the jewels and the box it was in, I take a couple halberds, 250 blood moss for my training, and a couple of vials of blood to the unfortunate dead.

Well lads as I wait for the trash can to be moved, the creatures lurk back and get awfully close to me. I almost throw up because I could feel the inbred creatures almost touching me, and the putrid stink infested the hairs on my nostrils. They once again notice me! I know now I cannot get anymore treasure so I dash off into the neighborhood and hide once again! Oh no, I tripped and fell! They notice me and I begin running once again. I felt as if God was on my side lads, for I saw the light, but heard the words "Thou hast strayed from the path of virtue, but thou still deservest a second chance." I paused for a moment, feeling as if I was granted another chance. I grab the l00tx0rs of the wicked creatures and flee back home.

I stare off into the distance, and notice I am in Britain, land of fellow bards such as I. I let out a sigh of relief and realize there is not a place a wee bit better than home.

[Ireland]

Part II

[Ireland]

Part III

[Ireland]

Part IV