UO Second Age

Hail fellow virtual wizards and wizardettes. It is I, the honorable, venerable and downright despicable Vhyx! Today I had the utmost pleasure of being hired on as a film crewman for what turned out to be a blood bath of monumental proportions. I'm sure some circles would define what I witnessed as terrorism, and call for drone strikes to take myself and the man who hired me out. Fortunately for us, we both live in secret underground bunkers where the man's grabby mitts cannot reach us.

I was contacted by one "Bro Montana" to film a documentary on what his life is like during his daily struggle to tackle the eye-sore known as "afk macro-er-uh-sors". Don't ask. He has odd speech patterns. I think it has to do with the fact he drinks kodene cough syrup by the pint. At any rate, I was happy to take the job. Mr. Montana told me he'd pay out in party favors and a fifth of cheap vodka. By party favors I don't mean drugs, but actual catch-penny toys. I'm a sucker for those. Nothing like getting hammered on distilled potatoes and playing with cheap toys until they break. I suggest you try it sometime. Naked. In the bath tub. With me. I'll scrub your back.

The first part of Mr. Montana's struggle against the macroing scourge took us to the Moonglow Zoo. The poor animals are relentlessly tortured by a legion of buffoons who live for nothing more than enraging them. This behavior cannot be tolerated any further. Violence begets violence, so I hope you all agree that these scumbags got every bit of what they deserved. Sadly, I also had to euthanize a couple of Ostards now that their masters could no longer properly care for them.

After the Zoo was cleaned up and peace, at least temporarily, restored... Mr. Montana told me that "itsuh errr, tyme to *burp* cheque the bank thing place". I didn't really follow his meaning until we arrived on scene at the Moonglow bank. The place had been over run by a troop of hypnotized individuals who were repeatedly chanting "guards". I don't know if they were supposed to be some kind of half arsed security force, or a bunch of drugged out e-hippies trying to have a drug laced sit in. What I do know for sure is Mr. Montana showed a determined ruthlessness in executing his plan to kick those clowns into the afterlife. I admit I got a little caught up in the whole thing and may have done or said things I shouldn't have. Most importantly, butchering the song "Danny Boy".

The weapon of choice utilized by Mr. Montana was a mind-controlled martyr slave who just never seemed to stay dead. I tip my hat to Mr. Montana's creation. Code name: Purple Nurple.

I'll stop typing for now and let my camera work tell the rest of the tale. If you are easily offended by gratuitous violence, please do the following for me prior to watching: Go make yourself a nice hot cup of tea or coffee. Instead of stirring in your favorite sweetener or creamer, substitute with a teaspoon of concrete powder. Drink quickly as it will help you to harden up, Princess.

Now... On with the show. (I know I can embed, however its best viewed on youtube itself in 480p, on "large player" so you can read my oh so professional commentary throughout the show. Not that any of you are actually going to sit through the entirety of all four parts)

Part One:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewpp3MYOiak

Part Two:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UdTuGjX9kc

Part Three:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ72wO6N08o

Part Four:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XllR-VBtLnc

Something part four does not include, if you wind up watching it.. The hero you will see towards the end wound up getting an all expenses paid vacation to the fire temple. I hope he had fun.

You two demonstrated what it takes to be Swansons. Congrats.

I enjoyed this as much as your trash talk necropvp!

I was a victim, i approve this death.

When the fair citizens lose their faculties, it is best to put them out of their misery. They're already dead anyways.