chumbucket's Tales of Adventure: Where is your banks?
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:58 pm
Dear Friends and Well Wishers:
It has been a while since I have regaled you with tales of danger and valor, so today I present to you a tale of...perhaps not valor but of something more important in these tense times...a tale of cross-cultural dialouges. With the situation in Russia and the Republic of Georgia spiraling out of control, I thought it might be time for a cultural exchange and increased understanding. Hence, a friend of mine from Russia by the name of Zenon came to T2A (courtesy of the disguise kit) and a small number of interesting exchanges occurred. I will share with you a letter he has written me about his journey. Please excuse his English. He is from Russia and his grasp of grammar and spelling is only slightly better than the average UO player. Without further ado, I give you his letter.
chumbucket,
i am many glads to have been invited by you to this fine land. i have met many fine and strange peoples while in search of golds. I wore the bone chest and bone hat that you have given me. I did first meet a lady in the woods. her names was the wandering healers. I don't not know to where she was wandering. I do not understand your ways and so i angered her greatly and my name turned grey. I left confused and saddened, yet greatly intrigued.
I next set out in search of what you have called the bank. how is i to find the bank? I go to where you had said, but to no avail. I ask the minter but she has said that i am not fit for banks. I ask the peoples and a man by name Kefka was helpful. He showed me how to cast An Ex Por again and again. And then he cast it even more. He cast it many times and I was grateful to see how it worked in such detail. He then said something I did not understand. Perhaps you translate: "WTF. you are newb. i wooped your ass like four times and you just run. WTF."
He seemed nice.
Next I find a man in the blacksmith. He is King Crimson! I meet King first day. In Russia, we have no king only Putin. He is like King but he knows kung fu. Anyways, i saw in his bag that he had a gem. It was very beautiful. You told me that it was customary for strangers in your land to each take an item from the bag. He did not like it. Perhaps he is from Russia too? I tell you what he did: HE ATTACKED ME. I think he meant me to die. Perhaps it is always this way with kings. I don't know. But he had no horse and so I use the war axe i had in my bag to beat him up. To the death even. He had many fine golds for my collection.
I also meet a lady that is Queen Sara. It is amazing how these people simply walk among all of you that are not really good as them. I took from her book with many runes. I do not know what these are for but it is very interesting. I left it for you in your shops. Please do what you like. She too was not happy. I accidentally made her ghost. Then she come back. And I almost make her ghost again, but I feel bad. Who is I to make Queen Ghost? She is of blood that is not dirty blood like me and you. But she come back third time. She showed me much the An Ex Por. I did not have heart to inform her of my previous knowledges on the matter. She died and gave me a quarterstaff of power. What does this mean? Of power? I leave it for you to do as you like as well.
I once again saw the King of Crimson. But he was not happy. He came back with friends. Maybe they are his bodyguards, but they set out to hurt me as well. I had fear. But I stood my ground and he still had no horse. He was no able to run away and I kept at it with all my might. His bodyguard healed him constantly. So I took his mandrake roots, which in my country we make into a fine stew with pork. You should try it some day. But he cast the Kal Ort Por. And he was gone. I was sad.
Finally, this Hemperor you speak of. He showed up. He seemed as slow witted as you had mentioned in your previous correspondences. He had meant to be a bodyguard for the King but he was late because he does not always carry his regs (what are these regs? are they some sort of drug? That is very naughty.)
When he came he made big explosion and he ran. I tried to talk to him but he would not stand near. And then the King came back. I asked "where is banks" No one ever told me, but King he said that someone should make me dead. He did no longer wish to do it, but he still had this malice in his heart, yes. When Hemperor came back again (does this name mean he is like the king of a land called Hemp. I have heard of this land. It is where people can't remember what they have done and eat cookies) but when i attempted to defend myself the guards decided I was no longer fit for the town. I am unsure what happened, but the guards made me become ghost.
I wish to say that I did enjoy what I saw of your lands. I have not told you of all peoples I have met. They were many pleasant peoples who told me "STFU". I do not know what this means but I take it this is a greeting of some sort. But though the people were nice, no one ever told me where is banks.
With Great Warm Wishes,
Zenon
PS: I have included some pictures I have taken.
It has been a while since I have regaled you with tales of danger and valor, so today I present to you a tale of...perhaps not valor but of something more important in these tense times...a tale of cross-cultural dialouges. With the situation in Russia and the Republic of Georgia spiraling out of control, I thought it might be time for a cultural exchange and increased understanding. Hence, a friend of mine from Russia by the name of Zenon came to T2A (courtesy of the disguise kit) and a small number of interesting exchanges occurred. I will share with you a letter he has written me about his journey. Please excuse his English. He is from Russia and his grasp of grammar and spelling is only slightly better than the average UO player. Without further ado, I give you his letter.
chumbucket,
i am many glads to have been invited by you to this fine land. i have met many fine and strange peoples while in search of golds. I wore the bone chest and bone hat that you have given me. I did first meet a lady in the woods. her names was the wandering healers. I don't not know to where she was wandering. I do not understand your ways and so i angered her greatly and my name turned grey. I left confused and saddened, yet greatly intrigued.
I next set out in search of what you have called the bank. how is i to find the bank? I go to where you had said, but to no avail. I ask the minter but she has said that i am not fit for banks. I ask the peoples and a man by name Kefka was helpful. He showed me how to cast An Ex Por again and again. And then he cast it even more. He cast it many times and I was grateful to see how it worked in such detail. He then said something I did not understand. Perhaps you translate: "WTF. you are newb. i wooped your ass like four times and you just run. WTF."
He seemed nice.
Next I find a man in the blacksmith. He is King Crimson! I meet King first day. In Russia, we have no king only Putin. He is like King but he knows kung fu. Anyways, i saw in his bag that he had a gem. It was very beautiful. You told me that it was customary for strangers in your land to each take an item from the bag. He did not like it. Perhaps he is from Russia too? I tell you what he did: HE ATTACKED ME. I think he meant me to die. Perhaps it is always this way with kings. I don't know. But he had no horse and so I use the war axe i had in my bag to beat him up. To the death even. He had many fine golds for my collection.
I also meet a lady that is Queen Sara. It is amazing how these people simply walk among all of you that are not really good as them. I took from her book with many runes. I do not know what these are for but it is very interesting. I left it for you in your shops. Please do what you like. She too was not happy. I accidentally made her ghost. Then she come back. And I almost make her ghost again, but I feel bad. Who is I to make Queen Ghost? She is of blood that is not dirty blood like me and you. But she come back third time. She showed me much the An Ex Por. I did not have heart to inform her of my previous knowledges on the matter. She died and gave me a quarterstaff of power. What does this mean? Of power? I leave it for you to do as you like as well.
I once again saw the King of Crimson. But he was not happy. He came back with friends. Maybe they are his bodyguards, but they set out to hurt me as well. I had fear. But I stood my ground and he still had no horse. He was no able to run away and I kept at it with all my might. His bodyguard healed him constantly. So I took his mandrake roots, which in my country we make into a fine stew with pork. You should try it some day. But he cast the Kal Ort Por. And he was gone. I was sad.
Finally, this Hemperor you speak of. He showed up. He seemed as slow witted as you had mentioned in your previous correspondences. He had meant to be a bodyguard for the King but he was late because he does not always carry his regs (what are these regs? are they some sort of drug? That is very naughty.)
When he came he made big explosion and he ran. I tried to talk to him but he would not stand near. And then the King came back. I asked "where is banks" No one ever told me, but King he said that someone should make me dead. He did no longer wish to do it, but he still had this malice in his heart, yes. When Hemperor came back again (does this name mean he is like the king of a land called Hemp. I have heard of this land. It is where people can't remember what they have done and eat cookies) but when i attempted to defend myself the guards decided I was no longer fit for the town. I am unsure what happened, but the guards made me become ghost.
I wish to say that I did enjoy what I saw of your lands. I have not told you of all peoples I have met. They were many pleasant peoples who told me "STFU". I do not know what this means but I take it this is a greeting of some sort. But though the people were nice, no one ever told me where is banks.
With Great Warm Wishes,
Zenon
PS: I have included some pictures I have taken.
