Can't let this die! I think Kander's been slacking. Well- so have I, but that's not the point. This time I actually have a story, though it may or may not contain griefing, and other childish things. If that stuff makes you break out in high-and-mighty hives, please... do yourself a favor and quit reading.
Tonight my accomplice and I decided it was time to renew our war against town-macroers. The usual shenanigans, stupidly named throw away newbie fencers, kill some folks, have some laughs when we fail miserably. That's what it's all about ladies and germs, using the sandbox to create amusements for ourselves. It may not be glorious l33t field PvP or tournaments, there isn't riches or fame, but it's fun, and provides for interesting interactions.....
Anyway, as I said, our evening was quite typical of what goes on when we feel our oats. That is, until we met a very classy individual named Uzix. I can't remember the exact nature of how we met this fine gentleman, as I may or may not have been drinking at the time. What I do know, is that he set upon me and my cohort while we were grey. The standard Noto-PK stuff (not that we didn't deserve it, but I digress). He tried to hit us with spells when we were headed out of the south Moonglow gate. Well, being who we are, we weren't going to allow him the easy opportunity. We head back into the guard zone where his spells are mostly harmless.
Now, enter the a-typical UO trash talk that commences when one fails miserably at something. Uzix goes into some speech about how we're "slang term for female genitalia", and that he's just a bard blah blah blah. Not at all making any kind of move against us. That is, until another player who's name escapes me- decides it's time to attack! Now that our friend Uzix has a little "courage" worked up- he starts casting lightning on me as I'm trying to escape the horse mounted macer. I, as expected, die rather unceremoniously although not very quickly... At this point I'm blue and head to the healer. As I'm leaving the healer Uzix shows up, and apparently I was still aggro to him from earlier or whatever, and he attacks again. I give chase, but he's mounted and I'm on foot. My accomplice fixed that by giving me a horse he had commandeered. Uzix comes back, and seeing that I'm mounted now runs like a scalded cat out of town.
How predictable. He seems to think I'm going to chase him out to where his spells are going to WTFpwn my newbie character (HInt: I wasn't). I suppose I can't blame a bard for not wanting to get into a melee fight in town, even against a newbie fencer. That's not the problem really, it was the fact that in typical UO fashion he comes running back with insults and trash talk. Not that I'm above talking a little smack myself, however, but that's not relevant...yet.
We go on to wind up having our current newbie chars turn red, and now it's time to make new ones, named after Civil War generals. So, Ulysses S Grant and Robert E Lee enter stage right. We screw around in Britain for a little bit, then decide to head back to Moonglow. We notice our friend Uzix is still there, and I think that perhaps there is more fun to be had with him. At one point poor R.E Lee was dead or something, and I was grey. I swing by the bank where I knew Uzix was hanging out, and see if he'll bite at the opportunity to attack a grey. Sure enough, like magic he starts to follow me and I commence with playing the "teleporter hop" game. When I go blue, he winds up saying something along the lines of "LOL you don't think that actually works do you?".
I play dumb and say "What doesn't work?" (when my plan was working all along- get a fool to act like a fool). He says something "people will just paralyze you", and I think "then why didn't you?".
A few seconds later old Bob Lee is back from the healers, and the fun really began. I don't recall exactly what spurred it but Uzix decides to follow us out of town. I think it was something we said, but I can't place my finger on it. He starts casting spells like he's going to attack, and well R.E Lee decides to make sure it happens. Here is the end result:
My demise happens quickly there after, Uzix says something about "pwning" us, and runs off when a blue comes on screen.
We head to the healer, and res up. Again, we run into Uzix and he's got something to say about us being bad, and how lame it was we got killed by a BARD. C'mon now buddy, it's not like we were a couple of 7x tank mages, nor did we actually even attempt to fight. What happens next was probably one of the high points of amusement for the evening. Uzix decides he's going to follow us around to annoy us or something. Ok, that's cool follow away. We hit the Moonglow moongate, and wind up at the Brit gate. We run a few screens North into a vendor house, who's I can't say. At that point we begin to feign like it's our house by saying "i ban thee" and whatnot. More "lmao you guyz are suck" type text pops up over his head. He then makes the statement "You guys are boring me".
Little did he know, things were about to get exciting for him.
See, call us what you want, but my accomplice and I aren't complete dullards (just mostly). Plans can be quickly improvised with little communication, say, a IRC message or something to that effect. R.E Lee shows up with one of his other characters, pretending to be some random passerby wanting to get in on the "action".
Meanwhile, I decided to bring one of my other characters on scene. Enter Alex Samusenko the Pirate. A stealth mage that isn't really equipped for PvPing skill wise, but is set up for other nefarious undertakings. At any rate, I stealth up from near the Brit moongate, and get ready to rock 'n roll.
As I come on scene R.E Lee dies again, however it was all part of the plan. We have to keep up appearances here. Here is a picture to give salute to his brave sacrifice (well actually it's to break up this long wall of text):
I have to give Uzix some credit though, but only a little. We'd been trying to block him in the house to make sure he couldn't run when things got set into motion. It would have been a shame to go through all of this for him to get away, right? He proved to be kind of tricky to trap, but just after this screen cap was taken- he made a mistake and I was able to block him on the steps between the vendors with my newbie fencer, Mr. Grant.
The rest, as they say, is history. My cohort swings into motion with the macer he'd brought up, and I attack out of the shadows with Alex. You can tell at this point Uzix has panicked, and things just don't go very well for him at all.
Good night, dear Uzix:
We say some "kind words" to him to get him to ghost-rage (not that he wouldn't have anyway). The poor chap was all bent out of shape, and reminded us how lame we were for having to gang up on him. After all, we were cowards for not fighting fair.... By fair I mean, letting him wizard our newbies to death, and off screen as fast as he could if things didn't go his way. How wrong of us to not let him continue to believe he knew how things work in old school UO. I admit it would have been more amusing to have killed him with US Grant and RE Lee, but it just wasn't meant to be. Such is life.
If you ever chance upon these words Uzix, allow me to thank you for the entertainment. My friend and I truly appreciate the interaction you allowed us to have with you, and perhaps someday there will be another. You are a gentleman and a scholar... or something like that....