UO Second Age

Hail citizens!

My patrol on 8-9-11 was no ordinary day in the BPD office for sure. Many surprises were waiting for yours truly and it was a very interesting day.

This report has 4 parts and plenty of Justice as always.

Without delay upon logging in I signed in at BPD HQ so I could deal Justice to those that oppose the law of Lord British.
As soon as I arrive to West Brit bank I spot "ILuvTitties" with lots of contraband on him. Instead of heeding my commands for his arrest he runs away from me. I give chase and have to follow up with proper BPD procedures regarding resisting arrest.
He does not make it very far and is beat to a bloody pulp for resisting arrest according to strict BPD procedures and regulations. Upon his death, the very vulgar name of his mount is noted and stored away as evidence against him, but it is censored in this public documentation. If Lord British or Lord Derrick want to conatact me regarding the immature vulgarity of this miscreant's mount name please contact me. I have the original file still at BPD HQ.
After his Justice is served to him I sieze his contraband to return it to it's proper owners and logged as evidence. The original owner's are never found however, so it becomes the property of the BPD and Lord British.
Later I meet a thief named Edison who finds out the hard way why you DO NOT even attempt to snoop this cop. It can be bad for your health for a number of reasons........
It does not take long for Justice to be served to him via an inanimate object.....
Not long after that; the thief known as Ralph gets too curious and suffers the same fate and enters the spirit world for a time out.

Ralph fails to get the bigger picture as to the concept of BPD and upon doing a criminal act right in front of me, he is served Justice by a very, very unforgiving mace.....

I have the pleasure to meet a new recruit named "Barney Fife" and we enjoy discussing the finer aspects of the law while watching thieves get guardwhacked....
What lies in store for us? Will we die? Will we win a million gold? Will we bash some skulls and deal out some Justice to some petty thieves and other various criminals?

There is only one way to find out! Check out part 2 citizens.

Hail citizens!

Barney and I were starting our combined patrol together to locate contraband and petty thugs.....
It was not long when a citizen runs up to tell us about a criminal named BlackTaco. It appears he was not only doing criminal acts to the good citizens of Britannia but he was also doing unmentionable things to corpses and had a "thing" for the dead.

Lord British would not allow such things inside his borders and this perverted criminal had to be brought to Justice!

Since he had such a "thing" for the dead he got to become one of the dead......

Before I had met Barney I had a "certain mistake" earlier that had sent myself to the spirit world. After serving BlackTaco Justice a good citizen named Pied Piper had informed me that he was able to save all of my armor and returned it to me. In return for his generosity I paid him handsomely for this kind act with a nice sum of gold.

One good act brings upon one; other good acts. A good thing for all of you citizens reading this thread to remember....
Upon returning to the bank to put up my belongings a criminal named Clyde had contraband on him. A good citizen decided to serve Clyde some vigilante Justice via his horse. I boxed Clyde in and was entertained for a while. The horse did not pity this unsavory smelly human and dug it's hooves deep into the soft flesh of Clyde....over...and over....and over again.
Clyde did not stand a chance from this big and extremely powerful animal and despite many heals; which only prolonged the inevitable, he finally succumbed to the horse and let out one last gasp before his spirit left it's tattered vessel known to most as "a body."
Like the majority of thieves Clyde is not very inetlligent. After returning to the land of the living he steals from the same citizen known to most as "God" and is quickly served Justice by the BPD.

Moments later a thief known as "Beavis" starts acting more like a butthead and has to be dealt with swiftly and surely. He never stood a chance......

After Beavis is served I get a messeage from a royal courier that Atraxi has requested me a summons to meet him at BPD HQ as soon as possible.


"What could this be?" I asked my self in my mind.....a thousand thoughts went through my mind as I made my way to the HQ. "Have I done something wrong?" "Have I been framed some how?"

Upon reaching the HQ; Chief Atraxi is there accompanied by Captain Oswald Boelcke. Both are inside awaitng my arrival.

Upon entering and talking with them I find out the good news....a promotion! I am promoted from Cadet to Officer and they do a ceremony just for me.

*salutes*

After the ceremony it is back to duty as usual but now I am no longer a Cadet and proudly display the title of Officer Border Patrol for all to see.
Part 2 is now finished but the patrol surely is not. With the title of Officer in only strengthens my vigilance. The thieves shall know no rest.

Part 3 has more surprises in store for this new officer....I am sure of it.

Hail citizens!

This is part 3 and it begins with me as an offical Officer of the BPD. As I am looking for mischief I here the sound of swords.

I run to where the sound is coming from and find 4 citizens fighting in town. All of them are blue so I only observe for a while since the bank is safe from thugs.
It appears to be warring guilds and the battle is very long and drawn out. This is the final pic before they run off far from the bank area. I cannot leave my post so I have no idea what the outcome was....

Not long after that a good citizen named Hiccup approaches me and tells me how in appreciation of the BPD; Hiccup will give me a Nightmare.

The Nightmare is bestowed to me and really looks beautiful. This great steed shall come in handy since most criminals resist arrest and try to run all the time....
I had Beavis already tracked before recieving the Nightmare and notice he is now far far from the bank. Since the bank is clean of thugs I follow his scent of evil and come across two other citizens; both blue, engaging in some PvP in town.
Alas I found the town butthead known as "Beavis" by Lord British's castle.

He had gone afk with illegal contraband on him. Lord British is highly against those who break the law. Especially those who disrespect him by bringing their illegal contraband inside his royal courtyard.

This miscreant must be taught a lesson!!!!

Justice is served as usual and all contraband is seized. Since the proper owners cannot be found it becomes property of the BPD and Lord British.


Lord British would be proud of this for sure!!!!!

I decide to further check the premises as I still smell the scent of evil about. Low and behold it is the criminal in training who I had encountered afk stealth macroing with an offensive guild title! He is at it again but this time his location is behind Lord British's castle on top of his outer walls!!!
After a long drawn out stalemate battle with a criminal who I drove out of town I needed to restock my supplies from the bank. This is when two town griefers EField me in and proceed to EXPLO bomb me...
It appears not only the griefer known as The Man was involved but his counterpart Sir Will also. I give them both counts after they are guard whacked and am raised by a good citizen. I lose nothing in the whole ordeal....except my life for a short spell...
Next is the final episode of this patrol....Part 4

Hail citizens!

This is part 4 and the final part of my 8-9-11 patrol.

It starts off when I find a criminal loaded with illegal contraband...Pacall does not heed my demands for arrest so I give chase on my new trusty steed.

He does not stand a chance.... With Pascall out of commission I run across another criminal who has illegal contraband on him and is on foot.
He also decides to resist and when the punishment ensues he spams guards over and over as I hit him wit my mace over and over.....I guess it is a noob thief....
This is the final result of the matter....
Soon after I meet another new Cadet who just joined named "Turbo Al'Esaul." I had forgot to take a screen shot but Turbo is present during the fight between Sandro, Fede, Ochosinco, and Clyde; wearing his old guild title before joining BPD....

Then another thief dies from my anti snooping kit....

It appears this criminal named "Ruckus" will not be causing a ruckus for a while and is now a ghost.....

As I go to East Brit to prepare to retire for the day I come across some good citizen that is very serious when it comes to escort missions and it reminds me of Beleibers crowding around Justin Beiber for some reason.....

The citizen's name is EndJinn and it is pretty funny that he has that name. Especially since it is not only the end of this report but the end of my shift and I am going to log off....hopefully he is not a real Jinn though...

Thank you citizens for reading my report and I hope you enjoyed it.

There will be more to come one day from this new Officer of BPD I am sure...

Awesome job officer! As an original founder of the BPD I am glad to see you taking it to the thieves and scum of the realm!

Thank you Brules. They shall know no rest when I am on the clock!

This is absolutely the best thread. So glad I came to this server.

Border Patrol, if you want I'll make you a fancy new sig in photoshop to celebrate your promotion.

Baublet is sad you didn't put pics of you snooping his boombox

Baubtastic is also sad you didn't put up pics of the epic fights we had all around Brit yesterday!

Keep up the good fight, though. I love finally being able to use my town thief. I do apologize for drylooting you, too. Feel free to return the favor--that is, if you can drop me. I always come out prepared.

Great report, as always, Officer Border Patrol.

When I went to discuss your promotion with your Captain, there was almost no discussion, just agreement. Are you gonna frame and display your Diploma, or do you plan on storing it away for safekeeping?

BPD Graduation of Border Patrol from Cadet to full Officer. Chief Atraxi and Captain Oswald Boelcke attend as witnesses.

You didn't post the pic of Border Patrol dying to a trapped chest. What is this? Fox News? We want unbiased reporting!

Lagrath wrote:This is absolutely the best thread. So glad I came to this server.

Border Patrol, if you want I'll make you a fancy new sig in photoshop to celebrate your promotion.

Citizen,

That would be awesome. Just make sure to keep my catch phrases in my sig some how.

baublet wrote:Baublet is sad you didn't put pics of you snooping his boombox

Baubtastic is also sad you didn't put up pics of the epic fights we had all around Brit yesterday!

Keep up the good fight, though. I love finally being able to use my town thief. I do apologize for drylooting you, too. Feel free to return the favor--that is, if you can drop me. I always come out prepared.

Citizen,

My razor only auto take pics of when I kill other people. The last thing I worry about when I die is taking a pic. Usually I am trying to get a rez as fast as possible to get back to my corpse.

When I am chasing someone from inside Brit and they are trying to lure me all the way to Skara Brae while saying things like "Why you running cop" and they are the one running; the last thing I am worried about is a pic.

I always wear crap gear on purpose, so enjoy my crap you dry looted using the item drag exploit. Hope you enjoyed that durable accurate pickaxe....

Also I did mention my death. That is how Piper gave me my stuff. I just didn't mention how I died...

Officer_Atraxi wrote:Great report, as always, Officer Border Patrol.

When I went to discuss your promotion with your Captain, there was almost no discussion, just agreement. Are you gonna frame and display your Diploma, or do you plan on storing it away for safekeeping?

BPD Graduation of Border Patrol from Cadet to full Officer. Chief Atraxi and Captain Oswald Boelcke attend as witnesses.

Chief Atraxi Sir,

I have it locked down for safe keeping.

Also, can people edit a book that is locked down!? If so, I better store it somewhere else just in case...

*salutes*

Boondock_Saint wrote:You didn't post the pic of Border Patrol dying to a trapped chest. What is this? Fox News? We want unbiased reporting!

Citizen,

I answered it in a post that is above. My reports are based on things of signifigance mostly, like stopping crimes.

Officer, locked down books can indeed be edited, I strongly recomend you store it somewhere safe.