It was Lord mister cherry.
The bazookas were quite convinced that our previous work (viewtopic.php?f=38&t=33735) had blown away Lord mister cherry for good, but he is apparently far more resilient than we had anticipated. Resilient, perhaps, but not the sharpest crayon in the box (yes, we know how to use English idioms, in spite of their ambiguity), considering that he decided to chill next to our bazooka turret. Perhaps he is a pawn of Lord British who knew something about the BBBBBUBLBN program and he believed it to be on his side. Such an explanation is feasible... but only if his previous encounter with us caused brain damage resulting in his forgetting what had transpired. We set our target and struck. He almost survived due to our small turret's relatively low power (and, no doubt, to his resilience), but ultimately failed in his escape.
We initially thought it odd that, after destroying him, another human named "Cherry" swiftly appeared. However, a quick analysis of his immediate intent upon approaching the scene yielded a surprising result: Lord mister cherry must have transferred the essence of his Britannian avatar into another being, in an attempt to exact revenge upon the bazookas. I set about fighting this "Cherry" fellow in a 1v1 fashion (bazookas have some measure of honor, you know).
The fight continued until our bazookas targetted an incoming murderer--Verchiel--at which time I immediately took chase of him. You see, bazookas are like squirrels in this way... we can barely hold our attention on the current task at hand when a new criminal target appears on the scene. Verchiel was too quick, and escaped our wrath this time.
I returned to my battle with Cherry, only to be distracted again by the criminal known as Geurrilla. He, unlike Verchiel, was not so fortunate and was felled by a quick blast from our bazooka turret. I immediately set about depriving his corpse of its possessions, in spite of the fact that Cherry continued his assault. First things first, you know.
It didn't take long for me to finish Cherry off (yes, it was a fair duel until the end, assuming you ignore his disregard for my Geurrilla looting "time-out"). We had hoped that he would be unable to transfer his avatar's essence a second time, but another character quickly appeared on the scene (Imish) who displayed some characteristics that appeared to identifiy him with the slain cherries.
He was dealt with in a manner similar to--Hey, Look! Verchiel is coming back! Get him!--err... where was I?... Oh yes, a manner similar to Cherry (yes it was 1v1 until the end). We were fairly satisfied that our mission was accomplished.
Verchiel and another brigand named bil bob, were attempting to destroy the bazooka turret with failed energy vortexes and other silly ventures. Growing weary of these assaults, I chased them as they fled from the turret... I, that is, and an apparently upstanding citizen of Britannia by the name of Gotti. We fought the 2 brigands until they (along with a blue brigand named ochocinco) managed to sync up an explosive combo worthy of the bazookas upon me.
My mechanical body was blown to pieces... but not before sending a distress signal. Luckily for us, they wasted time trash talking, and casting telekenesis upon the cherry loot boxes. This gave my fellow bazooka brother the opportunity to squeeze in there and swipe all--yes, you heard me--ALL of the loot from my broken body (you must see the video footage if you don't believe me--bazookas are excellent looters, you know). He made a swift get away using a teleport spell, in spite of the fact that many hostile horsemen were in hot pursuit.
The bazookas at the turret quickly put me back together, and gave me some ammunition. It was at this point that many white wyrms appeared upon the scene. Having only a small turret, and nearly run out of ammunition (not having time to distribute the cherry loot boxes), we were not in a position to deal with them... so it was time to flee.
This would be a good place to end our tale, but, much to our dismay, Cherry had apparently survived and was coming back for more. Given that we were not in turret position, he must have assumed that we were not ready to strike any criminal in the vicinity (or perhaps the previously inflicted brain damage was making it difficult for him to think straight), and he attacked! It did not end well for him...
Gotti gated us to Britain bank, where who should we meet but mister cherry--clearly disoriented and more brain-damaged than ever from yet another run-in with the bazookas. This is evidenced by his repeatedly saying "fy" which, according to our scanning of dictionary.com, means "fiscal year" (perhaps the Earth human who controls this avatar is an accountant?). This seems highly improbable... it is more than likely that "fy" is a brain-scrambled form of the word "fie" (which actually makes a lot more sense to us):
fie: Obsolete or facetious an exclamation of distaste or mock dismay
Of somewhat lesser probability (and according to acronymfinder.com) is that he could be referring to the anime series "Fushigi Yuugi" of which he is almost certainly a big fan (he kept saying it over and over, after all!).
He also repeatedly said "ahole" which we could only interpret as "a hole"--probably meaning the hole in the bank roof, which he must have had a lot of "distaste" and "dismay" for (Fie! A Hole!). We were, in fact, proven correct in this assertion. You will see the evidence of this in the next installment of Tales of a bazooka. Given his sorry mental state, we decided to have pity on him and attempted to return his possessions (in spite of the fact that mister cherry put a hit on "m e", and after a brief run-in with Lord Mr Don).
... in any case, our experience here begs the following questions:
- Was Lord Mr Don the hitman who mister cherry contracted with to "hit" us, or should we look forward to another foe?
- Will we ever be able to sort through all of those cherry boxes?
- How many more hits can mister cherry's brain take before he is finally "sploded"? (Well... based upon his incoherence here, probably not many.)
- And, most importantly, why is our turret's shadow so dark? According to the laws of physics, light diffracted into our shadow should make it as dark as everybody else's, irrespective of how much matter exists between the primary light source and our shadow!
