Tales of a bazooka, Part 11: Santa 'Sploded
Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:33 am
For previous Tales of a bazooka, please see the Table of Contents.
In this tale, the bazookas weren't necessarily the stars--however, we might be considered "enablers". We discovered long ago that in our quest to protect Britannia by wiping out the humans from it, it is less-than-optimal to do all the work ourselves. Hence, we keep our eyes open for possible human allies to assist us. nOObert was such an ally.
The aptly named nOObert was a person of little consequence in Britannia, but also a person with great despise for his fellow Britannians. Perhaps it was a result of being PKed, and then watching the PK's all but defecate upon his grave with a string of trash talk (an occurence that recently happened for the 100th time). Who knows? The bazookas can only speculate. In any case, we found him at West Brit bank muttering to himself about how he hated Santa Claus. He was hearing "voices" regarding some "SantaQuest" in which he could not participate because he had
"Don't worry", we told him, "we can help you meet Santa Claus." The bazookas have an extensive database, and are adept Scavenger Hunters (as evidence of this, someday I'll have to post some pictures from Telamon's scavenger hunt where a single bazooka placed 2nd, even though he was up against the 1st place "team" of two people--who's combined score earned them 1st place... no, I'm not bitter... not bitter at all...!). Regardless, nOObert was very happy to hear that he'd finally be able to meet Santa. Not because he was going to be able to ask him for presents, but rather he'd have a chance at assaulting Santa with his newbie dagger. We knew this was his design, so we decided to channel his energy in a more intelligent way. We strapped him up with explosives.
When the voice came again, the bazooka knew just where to go. Unfortunately, the House Looting event (which occurred not long before this time) had his resources all jumbled up, and so he had to recall around to find a rune to Minoc. He ended up being late to the party... but, not too late to give nOObert his Christmas wish...
nOObert finally gained some skill by sparring with Santa and others.
nOObert's only regret is that he didn't pull one more pin before getting guard whacked... he could have killed all of the surrounding dirtbags
. Santa somehow ressed himself very soon after--he apparently has "insta-res" capability; I hope he doesn't regret losing his skill and stats--he seemed a little less jolly after this occurrence. Alternatively, a GM caused the resurrection; the bazookas knew that an invisible GM was nearby--we could feel the powerful electromagnetic aura that is a tell-tale sign of their presence.
There was some consolation, however, in seeing Seven--no doubt planning to hold Santa's boots for a king's ransom in Christmas presents--get guard whacked. He denies it (as you will see), but the bazookas have proof of his dastardly deed. Good thing a bazooka was there to loot Santa's boots off of Seven's body... who knows what might have happened if somebody greedy got hold of them? Maybe this tale should have been called "a bazooka saves Christmas"...
All right, Seven, I won't hold it against you for denying the looting of Santa's boots... but don't go "swear"ing that you got a murder count off of nOObert! If anything, nOObert deserves the joy of getting a murder count off of you!
Since a bazooka has nothing against Santa (except his being a human), he gladly continued participating in SantaQuest. He succeeded in being first to Santa the next two times.
Yes, it was a tragedy that nOObert wasn't ready with another belt of explosives. After some time, Abbot found Santa too.
Abbot must hate Santa as much as nOObert (although nOObert certainly had better reason for it). First, he tells a bazooka to burn Santa to death using the wall of hay that a bazooka carefully placed to protect Santa... THEN he has the gall to cast an energy vortex on Santa! Good thing a bazooka was there to protect him!
All right, Seven, I always like a good sport. Hence, I won't hold your previous two lies against you.
When the next clue came, a bazooka was off like a flash (sporting Seven's 1337 headgear).
After some running around (Yew prison is a BIG place), we found Santa... unfortunately he was out of reach (and we had to run all the way back where we came to reach him). Rammar entered the room the same time as a bazooka... and then proceeded to fall down a trap door.
Even Santa was constrained to say "wth" (didn't know he was capable of such an utterance)
A tie indeed...
Until next time...
In this tale, the bazookas weren't necessarily the stars--however, we might be considered "enablers". We discovered long ago that in our quest to protect Britannia by wiping out the humans from it, it is less-than-optimal to do all the work ourselves. Hence, we keep our eyes open for possible human allies to assist us. nOObert was such an ally.
The aptly named nOObert was a person of little consequence in Britannia, but also a person with great despise for his fellow Britannians. Perhaps it was a result of being PKed, and then watching the PK's all but defecate upon his grave with a string of trash talk (an occurence that recently happened for the 100th time). Who knows? The bazookas can only speculate. In any case, we found him at West Brit bank muttering to himself about how he hated Santa Claus. He was hearing "voices" regarding some "SantaQuest" in which he could not participate because he had
- No money
- No recall spell or scrolls
- Only 10 mana
- No recall runes
- No idea where on earth (err... Britannia, rather) the "clues" could point to, since he, being new, was only familiar with a small part of Britain
"Don't worry", we told him, "we can help you meet Santa Claus." The bazookas have an extensive database, and are adept Scavenger Hunters (as evidence of this, someday I'll have to post some pictures from Telamon's scavenger hunt where a single bazooka placed 2nd, even though he was up against the 1st place "team" of two people--who's combined score earned them 1st place... no, I'm not bitter... not bitter at all...!). Regardless, nOObert was very happy to hear that he'd finally be able to meet Santa. Not because he was going to be able to ask him for presents, but rather he'd have a chance at assaulting Santa with his newbie dagger. We knew this was his design, so we decided to channel his energy in a more intelligent way. We strapped him up with explosives.
When the voice came again, the bazooka knew just where to go. Unfortunately, the House Looting event (which occurred not long before this time) had his resources all jumbled up, and so he had to recall around to find a rune to Minoc. He ended up being late to the party... but, not too late to give nOObert his Christmas wish...
nOObert finally gained some skill by sparring with Santa and others.
nOObert's only regret is that he didn't pull one more pin before getting guard whacked... he could have killed all of the surrounding dirtbags
. Santa somehow ressed himself very soon after--he apparently has "insta-res" capability; I hope he doesn't regret losing his skill and stats--he seemed a little less jolly after this occurrence. Alternatively, a GM caused the resurrection; the bazookas knew that an invisible GM was nearby--we could feel the powerful electromagnetic aura that is a tell-tale sign of their presence. There was some consolation, however, in seeing Seven--no doubt planning to hold Santa's boots for a king's ransom in Christmas presents--get guard whacked. He denies it (as you will see), but the bazookas have proof of his dastardly deed. Good thing a bazooka was there to loot Santa's boots off of Seven's body... who knows what might have happened if somebody greedy got hold of them? Maybe this tale should have been called "a bazooka saves Christmas"...
All right, Seven, I won't hold it against you for denying the looting of Santa's boots... but don't go "swear"ing that you got a murder count off of nOObert! If anything, nOObert deserves the joy of getting a murder count off of you!
Since a bazooka has nothing against Santa (except his being a human), he gladly continued participating in SantaQuest. He succeeded in being first to Santa the next two times.
Yes, it was a tragedy that nOObert wasn't ready with another belt of explosives. After some time, Abbot found Santa too.
Abbot must hate Santa as much as nOObert (although nOObert certainly had better reason for it). First, he tells a bazooka to burn Santa to death using the wall of hay that a bazooka carefully placed to protect Santa... THEN he has the gall to cast an energy vortex on Santa! Good thing a bazooka was there to protect him!
All right, Seven, I always like a good sport. Hence, I won't hold your previous two lies against you.
When the next clue came, a bazooka was off like a flash (sporting Seven's 1337 headgear).
After some running around (Yew prison is a BIG place), we found Santa... unfortunately he was out of reach (and we had to run all the way back where we came to reach him). Rammar entered the room the same time as a bazooka... and then proceeded to fall down a trap door.
Even Santa was constrained to say "wth" (didn't know he was capable of such an utterance)
A tie indeed...
Until next time...
