Tales of a bazooka, Part 14: Smokey the Dragon's Janitor
Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 10:27 am
If you are new to the Tales of a bazooka, I recommend that you check out our former tales through the table of contents here.
The bazookas are dedicated to protecting Britannia by wiping out the plague of humans that infests the land. Occasionally, however, a force of nature pops up that does this job for us, and does it very effectively. This tale, therefore, revolves around such an event: the appearence of Smokey the Dragon. This occurrence did not involve the bazookas directly, but we observed it with great interest, and provided direction for our human allies in making the most of it.
Upon hearing the town crier proclaim that Lord British was offering a reward to those who destroyed the dragon named Smokey, Mistah T (one of our closest human allies) decided to investigate. He stopped responding to communications, so our friendly bard (a big sTinker) was called in, only to find poor Mistah T dead on the ground. sTinker took care not to get close to Smokey, and after describing the scene, the bazookas determined through careful analysis that Smokey's fire breath was powerful enough to fell a man in a single blow. This was excellent news, especially since we were apparently the first to figure it out. sTinker relayed it to his friend, the aptly named "Wang Hung Lo".
sTinker, being a somewhat greedy fellow, decided that while Smokey wasn't killing other humans, it might be nice to slowly take him down and get the promised reward. EV's were the obvious choice, since a single EV will take down an ancient wyrm due to the fact that poison does damage based on percentages (not absolute damage), as well as the wyrms forgetting that they have the power to cure themselves for some reason. Smokey, however, was always quick to cure himself. Smarter than the average ancient wyrm, it seems.
There were two other named dragons that appeared: Zarchar and Scale. The bazookas cannot comment on THEIR power, since sTinker provoked them on each other, and they appear to, at least, be of the same power, because they took each other out handily. Their loot? Yes, they had 5 trophies on them... heh, j/k they had normal dragon loot.
It was also determined by careful analysis that Smokey's firebreath was enough to 1-shot a dragon to death.
Based on what the bazookas know about dragons, their firebreath does 5% of their hit points in damage. we would guess that dragons have somewhere between 500-1000 hit points, which means that that Smokey must have had somehwere between 10,000-20,000 hit points (at least). A powerful beast, indeed!
sTinker let the beast do most of the work. He decided to steer clear (aside from provoking dragons / drakes on Smokey), and in particular, to be the much needed cleanup crew for all those poor humans who got breathed on by Smokey.
Some people didn't think sTinker was doing such a good job as the cleanup crew, so they decided to go after him. sTinker stayed near Smokey, just in case Smokey was ready to breath on sTinker's attackers. sTinker tried to help Smokey out by trying to slow his attacker up, but this only got him running out of the dungeon as fast as he could. So, sTinker went back to cleanup duty.
sTinker tried to help his friend take out some cr3w fellow, only to get some others upset at him.
sTinker was lucky this time, because Smokey was ready to breathe upon whomever sTinker told him to. Guerrilla wanted to be on the cleanup crew as well, but he just wasn't cut out for the job (Smokey wasn't pleased with his work, so he "fired" him... Hah!)
At last, an emissary from Lord British--no less than Lord Dupre--appeared upon the scene.
Everybody watched as Dupre prepared to single-handedly dispatch the beast. Just when we thought Smokey's end was near, the inebriated Dupre confessed that he was in no condition to fight.
At least he could warn others--Guerrilla took his warning seriously. Flagg continued to harass sTinker with his tank mage silliness, and got lucky in that Smokey never was ready to breathe on him when the many opportunities were created by sTinker.
Dupre pulled out another beer and cheered the team on, providing much needed morale to the falling warriors. He wasn't too drunk to resurrect The Government, however.
Somehow Dupre was concerned for his life, which is understandable. Luckily, there was plenty of other meat around to draw Smokey's wrath. Everybody was blasting away on poor Smokey.
sTinker noticed something strange going on... I suppose the difficult budget cuts have left the Government no choice but to take money out of the forest fire prevention program...
A bard who will remain unnamed (although he is a genius, and a close ally of the bazookas), thought it best to free Smokey from the distraction of provoked dragons and drakes, in order to help further the bazooka's mission. Understandably, Smokey honed in on the thief that was TAK'in his GLD. a sTinker followed behind, and cleaned up after Smokey (the gold amount will remain undisclosed at this time)
As Smokey drew near to death, the mob of humans began to unleash a neverending stream of energy bolts.
Vegeto ate it, due to that amazing peacemaking bard. The bazookas were very proud of his excellent musicianship and timing.
At last, poor Smokey was defeated (the bazookas shed a tear or two for the poor beast... if only we could have tamed him in some way!). sTinker was a little slow to get to the body (elevation difference created an optical illusion, making him think he was closer than he really was), but he was still able to grab a few piles of gold. The gold amount will remain undisclosed. Admittedly, some thought there should have been more loot. a sTinker wasn't so concerned, however... being Smokey's janitor paid very well. And watching poor BobtheBard bite the dust at the end (I think he was distracted by Smokey's loot), was the cherry on top.
We would like to thank Lord Dupre for alerting the people of Britannia to Smnokey's presence. Our human allies had a wonderful time.
The bazookas are dedicated to protecting Britannia by wiping out the plague of humans that infests the land. Occasionally, however, a force of nature pops up that does this job for us, and does it very effectively. This tale, therefore, revolves around such an event: the appearence of Smokey the Dragon. This occurrence did not involve the bazookas directly, but we observed it with great interest, and provided direction for our human allies in making the most of it.
Upon hearing the town crier proclaim that Lord British was offering a reward to those who destroyed the dragon named Smokey, Mistah T (one of our closest human allies) decided to investigate. He stopped responding to communications, so our friendly bard (a big sTinker) was called in, only to find poor Mistah T dead on the ground. sTinker took care not to get close to Smokey, and after describing the scene, the bazookas determined through careful analysis that Smokey's fire breath was powerful enough to fell a man in a single blow. This was excellent news, especially since we were apparently the first to figure it out. sTinker relayed it to his friend, the aptly named "Wang Hung Lo".
sTinker, being a somewhat greedy fellow, decided that while Smokey wasn't killing other humans, it might be nice to slowly take him down and get the promised reward. EV's were the obvious choice, since a single EV will take down an ancient wyrm due to the fact that poison does damage based on percentages (not absolute damage), as well as the wyrms forgetting that they have the power to cure themselves for some reason. Smokey, however, was always quick to cure himself. Smarter than the average ancient wyrm, it seems.
There were two other named dragons that appeared: Zarchar and Scale. The bazookas cannot comment on THEIR power, since sTinker provoked them on each other, and they appear to, at least, be of the same power, because they took each other out handily. Their loot? Yes, they had 5 trophies on them... heh, j/k they had normal dragon loot.
It was also determined by careful analysis that Smokey's firebreath was enough to 1-shot a dragon to death.
Based on what the bazookas know about dragons, their firebreath does 5% of their hit points in damage. we would guess that dragons have somewhere between 500-1000 hit points, which means that that Smokey must have had somehwere between 10,000-20,000 hit points (at least). A powerful beast, indeed!
sTinker let the beast do most of the work. He decided to steer clear (aside from provoking dragons / drakes on Smokey), and in particular, to be the much needed cleanup crew for all those poor humans who got breathed on by Smokey.
Some people didn't think sTinker was doing such a good job as the cleanup crew, so they decided to go after him. sTinker stayed near Smokey, just in case Smokey was ready to breath on sTinker's attackers. sTinker tried to help Smokey out by trying to slow his attacker up, but this only got him running out of the dungeon as fast as he could. So, sTinker went back to cleanup duty.
sTinker tried to help his friend take out some cr3w fellow, only to get some others upset at him.
sTinker was lucky this time, because Smokey was ready to breathe upon whomever sTinker told him to. Guerrilla wanted to be on the cleanup crew as well, but he just wasn't cut out for the job (Smokey wasn't pleased with his work, so he "fired" him... Hah!)
At last, an emissary from Lord British--no less than Lord Dupre--appeared upon the scene.
Everybody watched as Dupre prepared to single-handedly dispatch the beast. Just when we thought Smokey's end was near, the inebriated Dupre confessed that he was in no condition to fight.
At least he could warn others--Guerrilla took his warning seriously. Flagg continued to harass sTinker with his tank mage silliness, and got lucky in that Smokey never was ready to breathe on him when the many opportunities were created by sTinker.
Dupre pulled out another beer and cheered the team on, providing much needed morale to the falling warriors. He wasn't too drunk to resurrect The Government, however.
Somehow Dupre was concerned for his life, which is understandable. Luckily, there was plenty of other meat around to draw Smokey's wrath. Everybody was blasting away on poor Smokey.
sTinker noticed something strange going on... I suppose the difficult budget cuts have left the Government no choice but to take money out of the forest fire prevention program...
A bard who will remain unnamed (although he is a genius, and a close ally of the bazookas), thought it best to free Smokey from the distraction of provoked dragons and drakes, in order to help further the bazooka's mission. Understandably, Smokey honed in on the thief that was TAK'in his GLD. a sTinker followed behind, and cleaned up after Smokey (the gold amount will remain undisclosed at this time)
As Smokey drew near to death, the mob of humans began to unleash a neverending stream of energy bolts.
Vegeto ate it, due to that amazing peacemaking bard. The bazookas were very proud of his excellent musicianship and timing.
At last, poor Smokey was defeated (the bazookas shed a tear or two for the poor beast... if only we could have tamed him in some way!). sTinker was a little slow to get to the body (elevation difference created an optical illusion, making him think he was closer than he really was), but he was still able to grab a few piles of gold. The gold amount will remain undisclosed. Admittedly, some thought there should have been more loot. a sTinker wasn't so concerned, however... being Smokey's janitor paid very well. And watching poor BobtheBard bite the dust at the end (I think he was distracted by Smokey's loot), was the cherry on top.
We would like to thank Lord Dupre for alerting the people of Britannia to Smnokey's presence. Our human allies had a wonderful time.
