UO Second Age

I am Hemperor. This is my brave story.

Two months ago I went to jail for hitting a cop. He saw me sitting in a park, minding my own business while drinking half a can of fortified wine. He attempted to arrest me. Anyone who knows me knows that that isn't how we roll in Canada. I wasn't about to let him take my half a can of fortified wine. So I took a swing at him.

Long story short, I went to juvey for two months. While there I may have contracted a venereal disease, but I see that as a good thing. Now I poison with every hit. But I digress.

I returned from jail only to find than an impostor---a fake Hemperor---had taken over my role here at UOSA. What's worse, he has taken my collection of red surcoats (the world's largest). I now only live to have my revenge and to reclaim my vast hoard of surcoats.

Sincerely,
Hemperor,
aka The Emperor of Hemp

You're hardcore, G.

my fake signature is bolded btw

Hemperor wrote:my fake signature is bolded btw

Actually Hemperor's signature is non-bold. As proven by your faulty copy.

One time I found myself in a well. Since I'm my own evil twin, I covered the hole and let him starve to death.

cool thread

So how do i tell which one is the real Hemperor?

Throw a maple leaf on the ground, the Hemp that comes up with it in his hand is the true canadian

damn socialists

I know this is sort of off topic but I urinated on top of the Ann Arbor police station one time. Never got caught. Just came to mind when I read jail.

Ann Arbor was a whore.

Well its also the city which hosts the University of Michigan.

I had to go, nothing was open so I seen this building with stairs. I was like I'll do it on the roof. Come back down and see that its the Ann Arbor cop shop.

Cop shop or police dept? There is a diffrence. "Cop shops" are private busniesses that sell guns and vests and **** to cops, but are not run by state/local/fed/whatever goverments. Pissing on top of a gun store is not nearly as hardcore as pissing on a precienct house.

The Book of Prophecy
by Hemperor,
aka the Emperor of Hemp

There will be a reckoning. The streets will run red with shreds of surcoats. Idle tongues, wagging with doubt and unbelief, will be engulfed in a torrent of fortified wine that will drown out the very oceans of this world.

I am the one true Hemperor. I am the beginning. I am the end. I am from Canada.

Verily, I have come to these lands--REBORN--and I shall set fire to those who do not believe, I shall smite those who resist and I will forever wear the surcoat of victory and justice.

Know now that none may oppose me, none my remain neutral. There is only Hemperor, that unstoppable force.

The impostor, he believes himself safe. His forked tongue lies to the children of this world. He is a fraud, a worker of deception and evil. He will taste the fury of my halberd, my leet skill. The surcoat he disgraces by wearing will be torn asunder. Its threads, ripped to a million pieces, will be all that remain of this wicked fool. He shall know my name is Hemperor, and he shall tremble with fear and repentance before he meets his doom at my hands.

I am the one true Hemperor. I know all. I see all.

he also forced the one bandage at a time issue...